Moments Buffy and Faith never had
by Jinxgirl
Summary: This is a series of short stories and scenes revolving around Faith and Buffy. Most have a Fuffy theme, but some are just showing them as friends/sister slayers. These are my imaginings of scenes that the show SHOULD have included.
1. Story 1: A better remedy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. To my great, great sadness.

Author notes: This is a series of short stories and scenes revolving around Faith and Buffy. Most have a Fuffy theme, but some are just showing them as friends/sister slayers. These are my imaginings of scenes that the show SHOULD have included between them. They take place in different seasons, and most could reasonably fit in at any time in the third or after the seventh, or just whenever you want to.

Story 1: Creative Remedy

Buffy shook her head, inwardly as she watched Faith from where the younger Slayer was sitting across from her in the small Dairy Queen booth. The other girl was, as usual, attacking her food with a voracious appetite; the banana split she'd ordered was already a third of the way finished, it had been less than two minutes since she'd sat down with it. The way she was shoveling it in her mouth, Buffy was surprised she hadn't accidentally eaten her plastic spoon along with the ice cream.

"Faith, you want to slow down a little?" she said with a raised eyebrow, delicately spooning a small spoonful of her nonfat frozen yogurt into her mouth as if to deliberately emphasize to her the right way to behave. "You're gonna make yourself sick like that."

"Thanks Mom, I think I'm good though," Faith smirked, showing a good portion of her mouthful of ice cream, banana, and chocolate syrup as she spoke. Buffy cringed, making a disgusted face back at her.

"Ewww, Faith, quit it! That's so disgusting!"

"What?" Faith said in mock innocence, still opening her mouth much more widely than was needed and taking her time about swallowing the almost completely melted mess in her mouth. "You ask a question, I answer. What's wrong with that?"

"You might try swallowing first," Buffy said dryly, still sounding pissed and self-righteous, but having to struggle to keep herself from smiling despite herself. For some reason, even when Faith was being her usual obnoxious self, she just couldn't seem to really stay irritated with her. She wasn't sure she ever really got irritated with her in the first place, or just felt like she should be.

"Oh, you want to talk swallowin', B? Wasn't sure if you were that type or not- figured you'd be more of a spit-it-out kinda girl," Faith grinned, sucking ice cream remnants off her spoon in a way that looked decidedly pornographic in its implications. Buffy's eyes widened in shock at Faith's words, and she started protesting immediately.

"FAITH! That- god, you're so gross!"

"Like you never did with Soulboy?" Faith scoffed, taking another huge bite of ice cream and spooning it in her mouth without breaking her stride. "Please! How else could you have avoided the no-sex thing for so long? Or do dead boys no longer have cum? Is that just an alive guy thing? Or-" she grinned wickedly- "was there no happy-getting-offs for our Soulboy? Were YOU the only lucky receiver in that little gig?"

"Faith!" Buffy hissed, feeling her neck, ears, and cheeks burn as she flushed furiously, looking around the little restaurant anxiously to see if anyone had heard the not-so-quiet voice of the other Slayer. "Could you shut UP?! Subject change, PLEASE!"

"Oh, please, don't pull the Miss-Priss-and-Prim routine on me," Faith snorted, rolling her eyes as another spoonful rapidly vanished into her mouth. "Like you're sooo shocked. Hey, as far as sex goes, you're kinkier than me even, Twinkie. I neer slept with dead things."

"FAITH!"

"Oh come on B, you might can fool all the Scoobs with your wide-eyed innocence route, all that crap about being hunger-and-horny-free and not likin' slaying, but you really you can pull with that with me? Sittin' there with your nonfat yogurt, makin' yourself cross your legs and eat like a freakin' sloth or somethin'… what's the point, B? I'm not fallin' for it, and you're just torturin' yourself for no reason," Faith leveled, her tone playful, but making it clear as well that she meant what she said. "You can't fool me… I'm a Slayer too, remember? I understand better than the rest of them ever could."

Buffy held Faith's gaze with her own, just a little too long for her own comfort… she looked away too quickly, slightly unsettled. She knew that the other girl was right… but she also knew she couldn't say so. She didn't know why she felt she couldn't' say, why she had to have all the pretense in the first place… she just felt that she had to, that any other way was… dangerous.

Dangerous? Why dangerous? That was ridiculous, and she knew it. But she also knew that this was how she felt…

Looking back at Faith, trying to act casual, unaffected, she muttered somewhat resentfully, "You've got whipped cream on your nose."

Faith didn't reply to that; she merely shrugged, taking yet another huge bite of her banana split. All that remained now was one scoop of ice cream, half a banana, and a mound of whipped cream she had scooped to one side, apparently not wanting to eat it. Watching her, Buffy felt a strange itch in her chest and stomach, a restlessness… irritation, she told herself quickly, it was irritation at Faith. Because she was irritating.

"Well, are you gonna wipe it off?" she blurted impatiently.

"Nope," Faith replied casually, swallowing and reaching for another bite.

"Pig," Buffy muttered, rolling her eyes again. She took another bite of her frozen yogurt, trying to feign disregard for her companion, but almost immediately she felt her eyes drift back up to Faith's against her will, fixating on her whipped cream-dotted nose. She found herself squirming…

"Faith, wipe your nose," she said abruptly, her voice tighter than she'd intended. She wasn't sure why it bothered her so much… but every time she looked at it she felt like someone was winding her every muscle tighter and tighter…

"Why?" Faith replied with all innocence, clearly enjoying making Buffy so annoyed. "I'm fine with it, B. Does it bother you?"

"Yes," Buffy said shortly.

Faith shrugged. "Oh well… guess that's your problem then, B."

She took another bite of her ice cream; all there was left of it now was third of the banana and whipped cream. As Faith licked her lips, only succeeding in smearing syrupy chocolate across them, Buffy's own lips tightened. It felt like her skin was crawling.

"Faith," she said in a rigid tone, trying to sound level and knowing she was failing miserably. "Wipe the whipped cream off your nose."

"Look, B, if it bothers you so much, you can lick it off yourself," Faith retorted, giving her a wicked grin with her chocolate-stained lips. "As it stands now, I'm perfectly fine with it."

"Maybe I will!" Buffy shot back, her voice rising. Faith chuckled, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"Oh, sure you will, blondie. Miss Vanilla Nonfat Yogurt-"

"Oh, you think not?" Buffy asked in an even louder voice. Before Faith could reply, before she herself had wrapped her mind around what it was she about to do, she found herself leaning with an abrupt aggressiveness over the small table, her entire upper body spread out over it, propping herself up by her hands as she leaned as close to the other girl as she could get. She was only vaguely aware of the remnants of Faith's banana split underneath her, no doubt messing up her brand new tank top, as she thrust her face close to Faith's, roughly giving her nose a decidedly long, deliberate lick.

Faith's eyes' had widened in startled amazement as she had realized what Buffy was doing, and now, as Buffy remained close to her, her eyes bore into Faith's with a strange mix of triumph, amusement, anger, and something else, something Faith knew from experience… lust. But that couldn't be right… no way was B LUSTING right now. Lusting for HER. Right?

For several moments it was completely silent between the two girls as they remained close to each other, staring into each other's eyes… both could feel their own hearts beginning to race, could hear the other girl's as well, as their own chests tightened in a way that was strangely pleasant as well as painful…

Suddenly Buffy blinked, breaking the momentary trance the two had fallen into. Her face tightened, eyes growing round and horrified as it seemed to dawn on her what she had just done. She jerked back onto her side of the table, blinking quickly as she looked around anxiously, apparently trying to ferret out who had seen. Faith felt her heart sink in bitter disappointment that surprised and disgusted her. She'd known that would happen- why had she thought even for a split second that it might not?

She looked down, gathering herself, breathing out slowly and- she hoped- discreetly. She was just about to look up, make some sarcastic comment that would break the ice, return them back to their more clearly defined roles from before.

But when she looked up, she froze once again. For she still saw that look in Buffy's eyes…

There was still a little panic and disbelief as well… but still there was lust, Faith KNEW it was lust. Buffy wanted her… whether or not she WANTED to, she did. Buffy wanted her…

Before she could stop herself, Faith heard her own voice, even raspier than usual, voicing the first thing that popped into her mind.

"You've got whipped cream on your chest, B."

Buffy looked down slowly seeing that this was true… but when she looked back at Faith, Faith knew from the sudden resolve in her eyes that a decision had been made. She waited more anxiously than she wanted to for Buffy's response, her mouth dry…

Buffy looked back at her, seeing the nervousness in her sister slayer's eyes, feeling it herself… but then she smiled slowly, hesitant, then bolder.

"Oops… can't have that."

Both of their eyes darted in the same instant toward the tiny one stall bathroom across the room… and with a deft quickness and understanding they were both standing, going towards it, Buffy being careful not to touch her shirt. Why, that would only smear it in worse… and they certainly couldn't have that. There were much better ways to remove it.

end


	2. Story 2: Full ocean experience pt 1

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. To my great, great sadness.

Author notes: This is a series of short stories and scenes revolving around Faith and Buffy. Most have a Fuffy theme, but some are just showing them as friends/sister slayers. These are my imaginings of scenes that the show SHOULD have included between them. They take place in different seasons, and most could reasonably fit in at any time in the third or after the seventh, or just whenever you want to.

Story 2: Full ocean experience, pt 1

Buffy Summers couldn't stop herself from grinning as she watched Faith standing apprehensively at the ocean's edge, just close enough for the water's foamy outskirts to occasionally touch her bare toes. Buffy could only see the other girl's profile from where she was standing slightly behind her on the beach shore, but she could see enough of Faith's face to be able to tell that she was frowning, almost scowling really, in a way that was more nervous and uncertain than casually annoyed, as she was trying to pass for.

Buffy couldn't help but be amused; for Faith to be nervous about _anything_, or at least to show that she was, was something rare enough. But for her to be wary of something as common and relatively harmless as the ocean… Buffy was still having trouble wrapping her mind around that one.

"Careful, Fai," she called out, eyes twinkling impishly. "One more step and you might get your whole foot wet."

Faith half-turned, fixing her with a narrow-eyed glare. "Shuddup, B. I told ya, I'm a Boston girl. We don't do the whole surf-chick-swim-in-the-ocean thing."

"And yet I notice you have no problem with the surf-chick-swim-in-the-ocean bikini," Buffy pointed out wryly, her eyes deliberately moving up and down Faith's body with another impish grin. Faith, having no bathing suit herself, had borrowed one of Buffy's for their beach outing, and the more voluptuous girl filled it out in a 

way Buffy definitely never had. The bikini, though too tight and small for Faith, certainly made her look none the worse for it.

Catching her gaze and returning her smirking grin, Faith shrugged back at the older slayer. "Hey, what can I say? You got the good, what's wrong with showin' em? I don't see no one complainin'. And you ain't exactly Miss Modesty there either, B," Faith pointed out, her eyes scanning Buffy's in the same deliberate way Buffy had hers, eyes gleaming wickedly. "Seems that postage stamps and string have more fun uses than I thought."

"Oh, shut up," Buffy echoed Faith's earlier words, but she was smiling even as she flushed slightly. It was true; the bikini she had picked was the skimpiest she owned, something barely qualifying within the realms of decent and legal beachware. She had bought it on impulse one day, liking how it looked on her but never dreaming of actually daring to wear it out in public, in front of people she knew. And yet when she'd decided to take Faith to the beach, that particular bathing suit was the first one that popped into her mind to wear… why?

"Hey, you won't hear _me_ complainin', B," Faith was saying to her, still looking at Buffy's mostly exposed body with a little leer. "You don't mind showin' it, I definitely don't mind lookin' at it."

"Ewww, Faith, shut up!" Buffy repeated, flushing harder and giving Faith's shoulder a shove. The dark-haired slayer just laughed, seeming much more relaxed now that the focus was off the water and back on where she liked it to be- needling Buffy and giving sexual innuendos. Recognizing this suddenly, Buffy nodded towards the ocean, looking back at Faith's mischievous expression.

"All right, Miss Changes-the-subject-to-get-out-of-things, you're not getting out of this one. Come on, let's go in the water," Buffy said with a smile, inclining her head in its direction.

Faith's smile quickly slipped, and her bare back and shoulders tensed slightly as she shook her head, obviously disgusted that her little attempt at distraction hadn't worked on the other girl.

"Nah, you go ahead, B, I'm five by five right here. Don't need the whole water experience just cos it's there," Faith said casually- much too casually for the tension in her shoulders and the flicker of worry in her eyes.

Buffy's smile widened; she could still barely believe Faith's nerves about getting in the ocean. It was funny, almost cute in a way. Just one of the many character quirks of the girl she was only just beginning to find out about…

"Don't worry, Fai, most of the crabs and sea spiders are on the shore, not in the water. They like to hide under the sand and randomly grab you when you walk. It's the sharks and jellyfish in the water you have to watch out for. But those are, oh, a good ten feet away from the shore. We should be fine," Buffy told her in all casual reassurance, barely able to hold back a grin.

As she'd predicted, Faith jumped, dark eyes widening, as she backed quickly from the water, then looked around at the ground at her feet, as though checking for crabs and sea spiders. Buffy laughed; as Faith glared at her suspiciously, her amusement intensified, and then she let out an inelegant snort.

"Sorry, Faith, but you gotta admit that was funny. You're not always so easy to pick on, you know," Buffy grinned, patting the other girl's shoulder, then squeezing it in an apologetic yet reassuring manner. Faith continued to glower at her, though she didn't shrug off Buffy's hand as Buffy would have expected.

"Ha ha. Ya know, B, maybe the B stands for something other than _Buffy_," Faith muttered darkly, and Buffy laughed again, squeezing Faith's shoulder. She tried to make herself sound more serious and soothing as she spoke to her. It was hard, between Faith's still-funny-to-watch expression, the feel of her warm shoulder under her hand, and the sight of Faith in that too-small bikini…

All that, combined with the warm sticky ocean breeze upon her bare skin, ruffling through her hair, the sunlight shining down upon them and reflecting off the water, the gritty sand beneath her feet, and the sound of the waves breaking ashore, served to mix in a way that was too much, too many sensations for Buffy to feel anything but happiness so strong she was almost dizzy with it.

"I'm just playing with you, Fai," Buffy said in a more gentle tone, rubbing the younger slayer's shoulder in a slow, soothing circle before squeezing it a third time. For some reason unbeknownst to her she wanted to prolong physical contact with Faith… for some reason, she was enjoying the way her smooth, slim-yet-muscled back and shoulder felt under her hand. And Faith was, for once, allowing her to do so, not cringing or pulling away. If anything, she was very still, her eyes flickering a bit warily, but not with hostility, between Buffy's face and her hand.

"The sharks and other kill-mode things are way far back. They won't come anywhere near us," Buffy continued, keeping her hand on Faith's shoulder.

"But they're _there_, you're sayin'," Faith shot back apprehensively. "Yeah right, they're way far back and not comin' near us! I saw Jaws, I know what the big bloodthirsty bastards wanna do to half naked girls. More like 98 naked in your case, B," she said, a sly little grin escaping in spite of herself. "And this is Hellmouth- you think any killer creature in Hellmouth is really gonna behave itself?"

"Point taken," Buffy admitted. "But we'll be fine, Fai. Nothing ever attacked me here before. And if it does, we're slayers. The Chosen Two. We can take on a little shark attack, don't you think?"

"Oh yes, with our trusty stakes and crosses, I suppose," Faith shot back, spreading out her arms and rolling her eyes. "Gee, B, but what with the sunlight and all, I kinda forgot about bringin' those along for the ride."

"Oh, come on, Faith, don't be such a wuss," Buffy said, knowing that this, more than anything else, would goad Faith into proving her wrong. Stopping herself from smiling in triumph as Faith glared at her, she lowered her voice, making it more gentle once again.

"Seriously, I don't know why you're so worried, Faith. And don't tell me it's all because of sharks and jellyfish. What's really up?"

"What, sharks and jellyfish aren't good enough reason to stay out of the water?" Faith blustered, but Buffy saw her look past her rather than at her, as if she were trying to avoid letting Buffy see her eyes.

"Well I'll protect you from 'em, all right? Really though… I'm serious, Faith, what's really wrong?" Buffy asked her quiet, stilling her hand on Faith's shoulder as she tried to make the younger girl meet her eyes.

For a few moments Faith continued to look away, and Buffy could feel her taut muscles tensing even further under her hand as she waited for the other girl's reply. She was almost expecting Faith to snap at her, or at the least to make another flippant comment blowing her off, but to her surprise, Faith finally answerd in a voice that was tight, begrudging… and yet also somewhat meek and ashamed, something that was for Faith almost never heard of.

"Look, B, I can't swim, okay? So… you go ahead, and I'll watch you."

"What?" Buffy asked her, startled, "you can't swim? Is that all?"

She started to laugh, feeling strangely relieved- she'd thought there was something more to it than that. How funny… cute even.

Since when had she started thinking "cute" so many times in connection with Faith? Since when did the words "cute" and "Faith" not seem in total opposition of each other?

Seeing the hurt in Faith's eyes even as the other slayer finally shoved Buffy's hand off her, scowling, Buffy made herself stop laughing, straightening her features and looking more seriously into Faith's eyes.

"Oh, Faithy, don't give me that look. I'm not meaning to laugh at you, baby," Buffy said, trying to sound calmer. She looped an arm around Faith's shoulders, leaning her head against the other girl's. Baby… had she really just called Faith baby?! How and why in the world had _that_ slipped out?!

Shrugging it off inwardly, she continued, "It's just that you don't _have_ to swim. Hardly anyone actually _swims_ in the ocean- the tide makes it too hard. You only have to get in up to your waist- or your knees, even. It's kinda hard to drown in knee-deep water."

"Like I said B, this is Hellmouth," Faith muttered, her body still tense underneath Buffy's arm, but she still made no effort to pull away. "We've seen stranger. I think vamps and slime demons kinda trump drowning in shallow water or death by sharks and jellyfish, ya know?"

"Well if they show up, the Chosen Two will make them regret it," Buffy said dryly. "And I'll go in with you, Faith, I'm not gonna let you drown. You seriously think I want to deal with a _third_ new slayer showing up after my two-minute death. Two was plenty, thank you very much."

Faith swiftly elbowed Buffy in her exposed ribs, causing Buffy to yelp in pain and half-angry, half-amused surprised as she doubled over briefly, extracting her arm from around Faith to clutch at her sore spot. As Faith smirked at her, clearly pleased with herself, Buffy, recovering, muttered darkly to herself for a moment, rubbing her side. Then she exhaled and looked back up at Faith.

"Okay, okay, sorry, but that freakin'_ hurt_, Faith!"

"Did it? Gee, sorry, B, guess I don't know my own strength," Faith laughed, dimples displaying themselves briefly. Looking at her, seeing the childlike gleam in her eyes, Buffy couldn't stay even partly miffed… she couldn't even pretend to be.

"You were sayin', B?" Faith pushed, still grinning.

"I was saying," Buffy said, exhaling meaningfully, "no excuses, Faith, you're going in."

And with that she swiftly grabbed the other girl around the waist, beginning to propel her forward toward the water with an arm around her in a firm grip. Faith fought her a bit at first, writhing and pushing at the older slayer, but her efforts were half-hearted, and Buffy was firm, only tightening her arm around the younger girl's waist.

After a few moments Faith gave up, giving Buffy a menacing stare that Buffy returned with a sweet, too-innocent smile. However, Buffy noticed that the dark-haired slayer seemed to be moving in even closer to her, whether consciously or not, pressing up against her side. Buffy could feel how tense she still was and wondered at it. Maybe Faith wasn't just worried about sharks and jellyfish and not being able to swim. Maybe she was actually afraid of the water… of course, she would never admit it if that were true.

The water was warm, the waves steadily rolling in, just high enough to occasionally bring the water up to waist and sometimes chest level. Each time a wave reached them, Buffy could feel Faith stiffen beside her, alarm briefly flashing in her eyes. Sensing that it wouldn't be smart for her to comment on it, Buffy kept an arm around her, though she deliberately loosened her hold a bit, as she stopped at a spot where the water was hip-deep when there was no waves.

"See, we'll stop right here," she said, unwinding her arm from around Faith and instead taking her hand. "Just stand here, and enjoy it, relax… this is what the beach is all about. You can't enjoy the full ocean experience without getting in the ocean."

"Tanning and sand castles sound like a pretty good "full ocean experience" to me," Faith muttered, but there was no real resentment in her voice. In fact, as she tilted her head back, she half-closed her eyes, seeming to be soaking up the sensations of the water, the sun, and Buffy's hand in hers…

To be continued


	3. Story 3: Full ocean experience pt 2

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. To my great, great sadness.

Author notes: This is a series of short stories and scenes revolving around Faith and Buffy. Most have a Fuffy theme, but some are just showing them as friends/sister slayers. These are my imaginings of scenes that the show SHOULD have included between them. They take place in different seasons, and most could reasonably fit in at any time in the third or after the seventh, or just whenever you want to.

Story 2: Full ocean experience, pt 2

The two slayers stood in silence for several moments, gradually emptying their minds of all that had been filling their thoughts and troubling their souls. Buffy could feel her muscles relaxing, loosening into near limpness, and though she could no longer feel Faith's body quite so close to hers, she could sense the other girl's tension slowly dissipating as well. Looking over at her, she saw that Faith's face seemed softer, more open than she had seen it in a long time… younger, somehow, and almost… innocent.

Smiling, feeling a rush of love and affection towards her that she couldn't quite explain, Buffy squeezed Faith's hand. Her heart moved almost painfully in her chest when Faith smiled back at her sweetly, squeezing her hand back…

And then, without missing a beat, still smiling serenely, Faith deftly scooped up handful of ocean water with her free hand and splashed it directly into Buffy's face. Buffy's eyes bulged, and both hands flew up to her face instinctively as she sputtered, gagging in anger and shock. Faith guffawed, her dark eyes sparkling in glee.

"Oh, think that's funny,_ F_?" Buffy sputtered, still spitting remnants of the salty water in disgust. "You are _so_ on. This is war!"

Using both hands, she scooped up a good bit of water and splashed it back at Faith vigorously. Faith, who had been laughing, got a nice mouthful in her open mouth. 

She immediately started gagging and spitting, dark eyes widening furiously with repulsion.

"Oh, shit! Shit!_ Dammit_, B, this tastes like-"

"Shit?" Buffy suggested innocently, unable to hide her grin. "Because that's what mostly is in the water, fish shit and salt-"

She was interrupted by a violent retorting splash from Faith, catching her once more in the mouth, and as soon as her spluttering was under control, the splash war began in earnest. Laughing, screaming, and swearing loudly, provoking stares from all nearby but not caring, the two slayers flung water at each other furiously, shoving and pulling at each other with easy disregard for their nearly bare bodies. Buffy could not remember the last time she had laughed so long and hard, felt so relaxed and free, so comfortable with herself and her body, with Faith and Faith's body. The moment seemed almost magical, too perfect and carefree to last for long…

And it was. It lasted perhaps five minutes before it was forced into an abrupt ending…

As Faith splashed another handful of water at Buffy, coming towards her and grabbing her arm in an attempt to hold her still, Buffy, laughing and yelping shrilly, pushed her away, backing away from her quickly towards the shore. Faith, laughing just as hard and breathlessly as Buffy was, started towards her slowly, no longer seeming even a little nervous about being in the water. But as she moved in towards the rapidly back-pedaling blonde, an unusually large wave rolled up from behind her, hitting her back with force. Faith stumbled, and losing her balance, briefly disappeared under the water.

She was only underwater for a few seconds, but for Buffy, those few seconds were wrought with suddenly sobering fear and anxiety. Where was she- was she okay?! She couldn't swim- what if she couldn't get back up to surface?! Buffy had promised Faith that she would be okay… if something happened to her…

Buffy had started towards her in near panic, heart pounding, but then Faith's head and shoulders had broke the surface. She was coughing, spitting, head and shoulders bent over, sodden hair in her face, but she was clearly alive, clearly okay, and the relief that filled Buffy to see this was enormous.

Rather than saying so when she reached Faith's side, however, or even asking her if she was okay, Buffy found herself beginning to laugh. It wasn't that what had happened was so funny- although it was in a way- it was just that this involuntary reaction served to relieve the tension that had built so intensely inside her in those few seconds. Buffy laughed until she was breathless, until tears pricked her vision; all she could manage to gasp out was, "Oh god… Faith, oh god…"

It took her several moments to see that Faith, although she had stopped sputtering, was not laughing with her. Nor was she splashing at Buffy or even giving her an infuriated stare… in fact, Faith wasn't looking at Buffy at all, didn't' even seem to hear her. Her head was still lowered, turned away from Buffy, her hair still in her face… and she was shaking, Buffy could tell that she was shaking. As Buffy's laughter cut off abruptly and she looked at Faith sharply, concerned, she thought she heard the other girl give a low sob. Was she crying… was Faith _crying_?

"Faith? Faith, what's wrong? Are you okay?" she asked anxiously. "Faith…"

She moved quickly to the younger slayer, sliding a gentle yet protective arm around her shoulders as with her other hand she combed Faith's wet hair back from her face, peering into her eyes. Faith bit her lip hard, shutting her eyes, as if making sure not to look at Buffy… but still, tears escaped from beneath her tightly closed eyes. Almost horrified now, eyes widening in alarm, Buffy squeezed Faith's shoulders, stroking her hair back again as she continued to watch her anxiously.

"Faith… Faith, what's wrong, baby? What is it?"

It barely registered in her mind that she had just called Faith "baby" for the second time in fifteen minutes. That didn't' seem to matter now, why she would do that… it just seemed natural to do so. All she cared about in the moment was Faith, and whatever it was that was happening with her.

When Faith just shook her head tightly, gritting her teeth and still keeping her eyes shut as more tears leaked, Buffy tightened her arm around her, turning her towards the shore.

"Come on, Faithy, let's go back and sit down… I've got you, it's okay. You're gonna be okay," she whispered, her voice cracking slightly.

Still keeping her arm around Faith's slightly jerking shoulders, her face wrinkled with concern and confusion, Buffy began to lead her as quickly as she could while wading in nearly waist-deep water back to the shore. Faith let her, her movements slow and awkward, as if she had temporarily forgotten how to use her limbs. She continued to keep her head bowed, eyes averted, nearly closed as she leaned into Buffy slightly, trembling, her skin suddenly cold.

Upon stepping onto dry land, Buffy guided her over to where they had earlier laid down their towels, gently pushing at Faith's shoulders for her to sit. As Faith did so jerkily, sniffing and still refusing to look up at her, Buffy sat down close to her, once more tucking wet strands of hair back behind Faith's ear as she began to rub Faith's back soothingly with her other hand.

"It's okay, Fai, you're okay," Buffy murmured, awkward, feeling almost helpless with confusion. "Hey, don't, Faith, it's okay."

She watched as Faith drew in several deep breaths, then exhaled them out shakily, clearly forcing herself back into control. She blinked rapidly, still not looking at Buffy, deliberately turning her face away. Buffy wanted to put a hand on her cheek, to force Faith to turn her head to look into her eyes… but she knew that wouldn't be very smart, knew she couldn't do such a thing.

Instead she waited for her as patiently as she could- though knowing Faith, she doubted her patience would yield many details from her as a result. Even as her skin fairly itched and her heart squeezed with empathy and her desire to understand, she said nothing.

As Faith drew herself back in control, visibly forcing back the few tears that had managed to escape and tensing her muscles so hard her trembling was forced to stop, Buffy only continued to murmur to her, rubbing her back and finding herself mildly shocked at how rigid it was. It almost frightened her to feel it, to see how quickly and effectively Faith could shove aside the emotional pain that so obviously was consuming her. She must have had way, way too much practice doing so, and Buffy didn't' even want to consider why.

Did she do this often, much more often than Buffy would ever have thought before this day? Did she do it around Buffy?

It took Faith less than two minutes to get herself almost entirely back in control… no longer crying or shaking, her facial muscles more relaxed, though her back was still tautly drawn under Buffy's hand. She also felt a bit warmer, though not by much. But still she refused to look at Buffy… Buffy wondered if this was because she had not yet been able to shove back the emotion in her eyes, to replace it with the cynicism or blankness usually present there. She could almost feel the humiliation radiating off the girl, the anger she felt at herself, though she hadn't said a word.

"I'm okay, B," Faith said finally, and her voice lacked both the emotion and the defensiveness that Buffy had expected. It was very measured, very deliberate and controlled.

"Sorry about wiggin' on you for a second there. Don't worry you ain't gonna ever see that again, promise. So if… if you're gonna laugh or say I told you so or somethin', go ahead, get all you gotta out of it, 'cause this is your one shot."

She shrugged with exaggerated indifference, then gently pushed Buffy's hand off of her back, turning to face her. Even facing her, however, Faith could not seem to look her in the eye. Buffy stared at her, stunned. Did Faith really think that she would make _fun_ of her? Or was that just her way of slipping back into Faith-who-doesn't-care, Faith-who-feels-no-pain?

"Faith, I'm not going to make fun of you!" Buffy said incredulously. "I would never do that. I was worried about you. I still am. I don't want you to be upset. I don't want you to be hurting."

Hesitantly she reached for her again, laying a hand on her shoulder as she tried to meet her eyes.

"I wish you felt that you could tell me what's wrong. I want to try to help you," she said softly, sincerely.

Faith shrugged, glancing at her quickly with a tight-lipped, obviously forced smile.

"Nothin's wrong, B. I'm fine. And I don't need help. I'm five by five. Just, you know, I told you, I don't like the ocean," she said defensively. "The full ocean experience is just a little too full for me, okay?"

Buffy just looked at her, her hazel eyes spinning over the concern and helpless worry for Faith that she felt. Seeing it, the younger slayer shifted uncomfortably, once more lowering her eyes, seeming to lean away from Buffy.

"No, Faith, don't give me that," Buffy said quietly but firmly. "I know that isn't true. If you don't want to talk about it, then I understand, even though I'd like you to talk to me, to let me help if I can. But don't tell me that it's nothing, or that you're fine."

Hesitantly, not wanting to make Faith stiffen even further or grow more defensive, Buffy moved her hand from Faith's shoulder to her hair, once more gently moving it back from her face. She had to try several times, for the thick, wavy locks seemed as stubborn as their owner in their attempts to straggle back down over Faith's face. After a few attempts she gave up and just lightly ran her hand down the length of Faith's tangled, salty locks over and over, trying to give herself comfort as much as Faith. She felt that she_ needed_ to touch the other girl, that she_ needed_ to show her that she did care. She suspected that Faith might need it too, though Buffy knew she would never ask for it or admit to it.

She had learned as well from spending time with Faith that the one thing that seemed to soften the younger girl, the one thing that seemed to crack her usually solid defenses, was for someone to touch or play with her hair. Buffy doubted that in this case, under these circumstances, that it would work… but she felt she had to try. In a way, she felt she owed it to Faith to try.

For a long while, several minutes at least, it was silent between them. Buffy sat closet up against Faith, her leg lightly touching hers, and continued to stroke the younger girl's somewhat clumpy hair, noticing how water droplets from it trickled down her back, shoulders, and chest. Faith continued to stare fixedly and fiercely at her lap, occasionally shutting her eyes for slightly longer than would be necessary to blink before snapping them abruptly back open. Buffy got the feeling that she was struggling with herself, with thoughts or memories she could not control quite as much as her words or expression. What _was_ she thinking- what was going on inside her head? Would Buffy never know, never be trusted enough to be allowed to hear about it?

She wanted to know, or rather, she wanted Faith to feel that she could tell her. She wanted to understand her, to piece together the puzzle that was Faith and her pain… but it would never happen. Faith would never give hr enough to even try.

So ran the course of her thoughts as she rhythmically caressed Faith's hair, trying to show her caring in a way that was tactile and soothing, and yet not too much so, not too threatening to the distance Faith would want, or claim to want for her to maintain. What she really felt the urge to do was to pull the other girl into her arms and hold her, a concept that would have seemed strange and unthinkable at any 

other time… particularly in light of their attire, or rather their lack of attire. But sitting close to Faith, touching her hair, seemed a better, safer option.

She was about to give up, to drop her hand and speak to Faith in an attempt to change the subject, ease the tension. But to her surprise, Faith spoke first… she still looked away from Buffy carefully, and her voice was very controlled, very defensive, but still she spoke to her, shattering Buffy's expectations.

To be continued


	4. Story 4: Full ocean experience pt 3

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. To my great, great sadness.

Author notes: This is a series of short stories and scenes revolving around Faith and Buffy. Most have a Fuffy theme, but some are just showing them as friends/sister slayers. These are my imaginings of scenes that the show SHOULD have included between them. They take place in different seasons, and most could reasonably fit in at any time in the third or after the seventh, or just whenever you want to.

Story 2: Full ocean experience, pt 3 (final part of that story)

"Look, B… it's just… I, I don't like water, okay? Well, water's okay, I mean, I can drink it and stand in it if I have to, I can take showers and I can take a bath as long as it's just me and no one else is around. Water is okay, it- I just, I don't like being under it. The… the water."

She stopped, exhaling slowly, and Buffy waited, expecting more. But it seemed that Faith was either stopping herself from going on, or else had found herself to be stuck, tongue-tied. Buffy ran a hand through her Faith's hair again, trying to be patient-girl, even as she wanted to somehow force Faith to go on.

"Okay," she said quietly, "okay, that's okay…"

She waited, and for several more moments Faith sighed again, her shoulders slumping.

"I don't like not… not being able to breathe," she said haltingly, still staring at the sand.

"Okay…" Buffy said, trying to sound encouraging without being pushy. She knew there was more to it than that. There had to be. There was almost always more to what Faith said than her actual spoken words…

"That, that's understandable, I guess," she went on somewhat awkwardly.

It was so long before Faith spoke again that Buffy thought she was finished, that she had said all she was willing to say to her. But then the younger girl shuddered out a long sigh, her shoulders sagging even further, and she spoke hoarsely.

"I know I'm makin' way too big a deal outta this. It's really stupid, and it was really long ago so I shouldn't even remember, I definitely shouldn't fuckin'_ care_. It's just that when I go underwater like that… I see it, I remember, and I can't help it… shit. Fuck."

She inhaled again, and Buffy stilled her hand on the side of Faith's head, watching her expression closely. Faith's lips were pressed tightly together, and the pain in her eyes almost made them seem black with its darkness.

"When I was little," Faith said finally, flatly, "and I my mom was giving me baths, she would sometimes hold me under the water. My head. I… I would fight and kick at her, and she'd just get madder because I was getting her wet. But that was all I could do… I mean, I never thought to hold my breath, and I was afraid I was really gonna drown. She always let me up after a little while… except this one time. She was holdin' me under and I think she wasn't gonna let me up, I think she was really gonna just keep doin' it. But then her boyfriend came in and wanted to know what she was doing and she let me up… he _saved_ me," Faith said, then laughed bitterly. "Oh yeah, he saved me. What a fuckin' hero. Of course he probably demanded payment for it later some way or another, most of 'em did."

Buffy knew her eyes must be nearly bulging as she took in Faith's words, as she tried to process what the other girl was telling her. Her heart felt like it was shriveling, or else being crushed by a large, very destructive fist… she had thought she'd prepared herself for something like that, thought she could guess what kind of childhood Faith must have had. But to hear her describe it like that, still maintaining her composure… Buffy felt the tears welling in her eyes and blinked them back furiously. No way could she let herself give into them, no way would she make Faith see them, make her feel ashamed, or defensive or guilty…

God… what was she supposed to say, what was she supposed to do? Nothing could make that better… nothing could make what was long ago done undone. Nothing could remove Faith's memories, her emotional scarring and subsequent defenses… and how could Buffy blame her for having them? That was probably the only way Faith could have survived.

And Faith still wasn't finished… she was speaking again, her voice lowering, but no less bitter than before.

"It's stupid, I know… but now, like every time my head goes underwater, I can't help it, I remember. I feel it… like a flashback. It's like I'm four again and nothin's changed, no time has passed, and I'm just scared shitless that I'm gonna die."

Her voice was barely audible by the end, and Buffy could have sworn she heard it crack. She looked at Faith, trying to make eye contact, trying not to cry, but still Faith would not look at her.

"Oh god," she whispered, hearing and hating the way her voice shook. "Oh Faith… Faith, I'm so sorry. I-"

She cut herself off, shaking her head with her stunned distress for the other girl. She knew that nothing she could say to her would matter, for she had not experienced what Faith and, and so never could understand.

Impulsively she scooted in closer to Faith, pressing up against her as she put an arm around her tightly, leaning her head against Faith's. As usual when she touched Faith, she was made aware of the slight buzzing, tingling sensation between them, a kind of electricity their sister-slayer connection invoked between them. She swallowed back the tears that still threatened as she thought about the ill-treated child Faith had been, a little girl whose memory still sometimes lingered in the older Faith's eyes. She leaned into her, hoping that through their adrenalized 

slayer bond she could somehow take some of Faith's hurt upon herself, lessen it, or at least to defuse it enough to make it more bearable for her.

And for a little while Faith let her… she held herself very still, and though she still did not look at Buffy, she cautiously allowed the older slayer to hug her, to lean against her, seeming to accept if not necessarily return her touch. Buffy could hear her heartbeat, feel the way her slow, deliberate breaths reverberated through Faith's body, and she tightened her arm around her, saying nothing.

After less than a minute or so, however, Faith exhaled with a loud ragged sigh, pressing her full lips into a thin line, and she pulled away from Buffy suddenly, shrugging her arm away from her almost roughly.

"Look, B, don't be sorry, it's okay, it's five by five. That was stupid, just another stupid me thing, okay? Just forget it, it's no big deal or nothin'. Just, I'm kinda tired of the water now, let's get some sun," she said quickly, trying to sound nonchalant and confident, but stumbling over her own words regardless.

Seeming to realize this, her features tightened even further, and she lay down on her stomach abruptly, stretching out on one of the towels. She put her face in her arms, hiding it from view. Looking down at her with a concerned frown, Buffy knew exactly what the other girl was doing. Her "casual sunbathing position" and the way it completely concealed her face was far from accidental.

Faith didn't appear to be crying, or at least, she was not making any noise. Buffy doubted that she was- she had seen how quickly and fully the brunette could bring her emotions under control. But that didn't mean that they were gone, or nonexistent… it just meant that she was shoving them back down where no one would see them, no one could help her through them, and they would only worsen, grow, hurting her more and more…

She wasn't asking Buffy for help… she probably _couldn't_ ask her for help even had she wanted to, been able to bring herself to do so. Showing weakness, even justified weakness in the form of vulnerability, was not a part of Faith's character. 

She probably didn't want to talk, didn't even want what help or support Buffy might be able to give her.

But that didn't mean she didn't need it.

Looking down at the girl beside her, a girl who was younger than she, yet jaded and scarred in ways Buffy had not been, Buffy felt her heart heave. She could see the tension of the muscles of Faith's back even as she pretended relaxation; even as she watched, she saw Faith's muscles twitch slightly, and involuntary spasm caused from the constant way she flexed them so rigidly.

She couldn't do this… Buffy didn't know how to handle this, how to handle Faith in the way that the younger girl wanted her to. All she knew was what she herself, in Faith's position, might have wanted… and what she wanted to do right then.

"Okay, Faith," she said quietly, in a belated response to the other slayer's words. "Sunbathing sounds good to me too."

She scooted in closer to Faith's prone body, lying down up against her, hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder, deliberately making their bodies have physical contact. As Buffy turned her head to one side so it was facing her, she could feel their slayer bond starting up, the strange calming-yet-energizing sensation running through her. She was only partially on her towel, the rest of her in the damp sand, but she didn't care. She was lying down exactly where she wanted and needed to be.

She felt Faith twitch slightly when the younger slayer felt Buffy's body make contact with her own, could sense the other girl's confusion and instinctive wariness, her desire for Buffy to pull away. But Buffy could also feel just how much Faith also wanted her to stay, and that was the desire Buffy responded to.

Still lying close to her on her stomach, head turned towards her to the side, Buffy, with her arm closest to Faith, gently moved Faith's hair to the side off of her back 

and shoulders. That done, she draped an arm over Faith's back, cupping her shoulder with her hand and rubbing it slowly.

Faith stiffened, her shoulders drawing forward more tightly against the towel, and she started to sit up. But Buffy exerted firm but gentle pressure with her arm onto her, pressing her back down. Faith lifted her head, frowning suspiciously at her… but there was no anger or annoyance in her eyes, only a strange fear that made Buffy swallow hard to see it.

"B, what are you doing?" she asked hoarsely, unconsciously licking her lips.

"Sunning," Buffy replied calmly, not moving her arm. She looked at Faith, watching…

Faith's features wrinkled, and she stared at Buffy with eyes that were so expressive they were paradoxically rendered unreadable. Several emotions flickered through them, shifting so rapidly that Buffy could only guess what she might be thinking.

"B?" she asked quietly, uncertainly. "B-"

"F?" Buffy interrupted her, matching her tone in a voice that was somehow both very serious and yet gentle, mocking her, yet not. "F, shut up, okay?"

As Faith stared at her, stunned, eyes widening, then narrowing, Buffy smiled at her with all the affection and sweetness she could muster, squeezing Faith's shoulder.

"Don't," she said simply, hoping that her tone, her expression, would convey what words could not. Still watching Faith's expression, she pressed herself up even closer against her, using her arm to pull Faith closer to her as well. She lay her head down on the towel and half closed her eyes, slowly moving her hand up and down Faith's shoulder in a soft caressing motion.

Through her half open eyes she could see Faith still staring at her, her expression torn, bewildered… afraid. And then slowly, slowly a faint light came into her eyes, a gradually dawning hope and understanding…

Slowly Faith lay back down, no longer trying to sit up, to look over at Buffy… her face was still hidden from Buffy's view, but this no longer bothered her. As Buffy kept an arm around her, pressing up close so their bare skin shared each other's heat, she could hear Faith's heartbeat starting to slow, could feel the taut muscles of her back and shoulders slowly loosening.

The two slayers lay side by side, their bodies drying in the warm afternoon sunlight as they remained together in a silence that gave no need for words.


	5. Story 5: I'm right here

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. To my great, great sadness.

Author notes: This is a series of short stories and scenes revolving around Faith and Buffy. Most have a Fuffy theme, but some are just showing them as friends/sister slayers. These are my imaginings of scenes that the show SHOULD have included between them. They take place in different seasons, and most could reasonably fit in at any time in the third or after the seventh, or just whenever you want to.

Story 3: I'm right here

Buffy stood over Faith's still form awkwardly, looking down at her in her hospital bed with her lips pressed tightly together. She shifted her weight from one foot to another, cleared her throat, though she felt no physical need to, and realized that she was biting her lip. She had been dreading this- putting this off with all-too-easily-made-and-accepted excuses- for nearly three weeks now. It had been three weeks since she and the rest of the senior class had defeated the mayor on graduation day, slightly more than three weeks since Faith had gone into a coma.

Well, "gone into" might not be the most accurate way to put it. If they were really going to be honest about it, the way to phrase the circumstances revolving around Faith succumbing to a coma was "Buffy put her into it with the help of Faith's very own, very sharp knife, gifted to her by her evil father-figure the mayor." She hadn't seen another way at the time… but now, looking at the too still girl before her, Buffy felt her heart squeeze guiltily as she wondered. Could she have done something different, better? Was this really the one way things could have happened, or had she just not tried enough to find a better way? Had she not _cared_ enough to try?

Buffy didn't know, wasn't sure… but the question made her squirm inwardly, feeling even guiltier than she already did.

Clearing her throat again, she looked down at Faith with a determined, resolute face, coming over closer to her. She _was_ going to do this; she _needed_ to do this. Not just for Faith, but for herself. If she was going to live with herself and what she 

had done- what she might have done better, differently- she was going to have to do this, and a lot more often too.

"Hi, Faith," she said a bit nervously, taking a deep breath. She felt stupid as soon as she said it- what a way to open up, after all that had happened between them. Btu then again, maybe that was the only way, to start things simple and slow.

The doctors had said that Faith would probably never wake up, and that if she did, she would never be the same. But Buffy couldn't believe that… she refused to believe that. Faith couldn't die. She just couldn't. She was a slayer… she would be okay.

Besides, Buffy had also heard doctors say that sometimes people could hear what people said to them while they were in a coma. And if Faith could hear her… well, then she'd tell her everything she needed to say, that Faith might need to hear.

"Hi, Faith," she said again, a bit more calmly this time. "I know, I said that already… but to be honest, I'm a little nervous here, you know?"

She exhaled, taking another step closer, one hand gripping the wrist of her other hand with nervous energy, as she shifted her weight again, feeling hopelessly awkward and annoyed with herself. She hated to look at Faith, to see the young girl- the slayer- who had been once so full of life, never seeming to sit still or slow down, lying unmoving and expressionless. The only sign of life she displayed was the slow, slight rise and fall of her chest occasionally.

It was this, having to see her like this, to know that _she_ had caused her to be like this, that had kept Buffy away. There really was no other reason.

Still, she found herself struggling to justify herself to the unresponsive girl, making excuses for her absence.

"I know… I should have come before. It was stupid not to. But I, I wanted to, Faith. Really. It's just, everything was so crazy. I've been really busy. Slaying, job hunting- like slaying isn't enough of a job already, but unfortunately, no pay for it, and no tax returns, you know? If I had a dollar for every vamp I staked, now that would be some serious dough. But no, no, of course not," Buffy babbled nervously, her eyes flickering over Faith quickly before she looked past her at the wall beside the bed. "Plus, you know, I just started college, or I'm about to anyway, so I have to go to all these orientations and pack and buy stuff. And plus there was the mayor and blowing up the school aftermath to deal with… and… well, the whole deal where I had to figure out how I feel about you and what happened. I, I'm still kinda working on that one," she admitted, her voice lowering.

She sighed again, mentally kicking herself. Okay, Buffy, this is so not what you came here for… that was not what you were supposed to say. Okay, so maybe you don't know what you were supposed to say… but I can safely assure you that it wasn't _that_. Definitely not _that_.

Slowly, hesitantly, Buffy sat down the edge of Faith's bed and forced herself to look down at her. She could hear the quiet sounds coming from the monitors hooked up to Faith, the IV feeding her intravenously, and probably audible only to her slayer hearing, the soft sounds of Faith's slow breathing and heartbeat. She looked over at Faith deliberately, determinedly, forcing herself to see the mere shell of the girl she had once known.

Faith's face seemed sunken, smudged and pale, her eyes bruise-like underneath; her cheekbones stuck out sharply. Her hair was lank and flat, and her body was already thinner, losing muscle tone from lack of activity and nutrition adequate for a slayer metabolism. To see her like that- almost like she was already dead- was disturbing.

She looked so wrong, so unnatural… so un-Faith. She looked no better than she had the last time Buffy had seen her, when she'd first been admitted into the hospital… if anything, she looked worse. To see her with no smirk on her face, no mischievous gleam in her eyes, lying unable to move, without strength… Buffy's lips tightened, and she blinked against sudden tears pricking behind her ears. Faith looked so fragile, so young… she was seventeen years old, and she could die. Or just never wake up at all, always be caught in this suspended state of "living".

"I didn't want this," Buffy nearly whispered, staring wretchedly at Faith's slackened face. She fought the urge that rose for her to look down at Faith's abdomen, where she knew the knife scar remained under the hospital blanket and gown. "I never wanted this, Faith… I never wanted to kill you. I never wanted you to die. I never wanted to hurt you at all… god, didn't that all amount to a big fat nothing."

She sighed again as her eyes fixated on Faith's face, finding that though her stomach knotted at the sight of it, she couldn't seem to look away now.

"Faith… I've thought about it a lot. I don't think I realized just how much until now… I don't think I even realized I was thinking it. Did you know you could do that, think without realizing you were thinking? I didn't…" Buffy rambled, more confused now that nervous, working her way through her thoughts out loud. Once she started it didn't quite so strange to talk to Faith aloud when it was clear that the girl would give her no response. In fact, Buffy was starting to almost like it in a way. It gave her an odd relief, as if she were emptying her uncomfortably full mind to make room for more thought.

"But anyway, I've been thinking, Faith… and I don't think you ever wanted to hurt me either. I really don't. Willow and Xander might disagree… but I think… I think we got caught up on opposite sides, and, neither of us were thinking clearly. I hurt you, and you hurt me, and we just kept on and on until… until this."

Buffy's voice faltered for a moment, and she blinked back fresh tears as she concentrated on steadying her voice.

"You were wrong, what you did, Faith… but I was wrong too. _We_ were wrong. We could have avoided this, we could have avoided all of this…"

She let her voice trail off as she finally took her eyes away from Faith, still concentrating on holding back tears. When she looked over at Faith again her voice was level, and her eyes were dry, but her voice was tentative.

"I-I'm still trying to figure out that dream, Faith. The one where you- you helped me. I don't know if you had it too, or if it was just me… do you have dreams?"

She waited, watching Faith's face closely, her heart suddenly speeding in its beats. For a moment she had been sure Faith was about to move, maybe even speak to her…

But she didn't… the dark-haired girl remained motionless. Buffy felt her heart sink a little, though she couldn't understand her disappointment. What had she really expected to happen in the first place? They'd said she would never awaken.

"Well," Buffy went on finally, "even if you didn't dream that, even if you don't dream at all… I know you were there, Faith. You helped me. Does that- does that mean you forgive me, that you're okay with me? Does that mean we're okay now? I don't know… but… but I'd like us to be."

_If she ever wakes up_, a rude, harsh voice nagged in the back of her mind. _If you_ _haven't killed her_…

Looking at Faith with another ragged sigh, Buffy reached for her hand impulsively, wanting to shudder at how cold and limp it felt in hers. Trying to ignore that, she squeezed it tightly, attempting to transfer some of her warmth, her strength, to the other girl. She could just barely feel the tingling sensation of their slayer bond, barely a trickle compared to the strong pulse she had once felt whenever she and Faith touched. This more than anything, the meager remnants of their slayer bond and Faith's slayer status, was what finally made the tears that had been standing in Buffy's eyes spill over. She sniffed, wiping them away quickly with her free hand as she continued to hold Faith's in the other.

"I wish you would wake up, Faithy," she almost whispered, her voice choked. "I miss you. I even miss things about you I would have thought I'd be glad to never 

see again, things I thought I hated. The way you always smirked at everyone, like you just knew you were the hottest thing around… the way you used to talk about sex all the time to try and shock me. The way you made me feel that it was maybe okay to like slaying sometimes, the way it makes us feel, like we're invincible or something… more than human. The way you understand like no one else could what it's like to be us. The way you called me B… god, I miss that so much. I thought I hated that, that and the way you said five by five all the time instead of fine. But now I really miss it, Faith."

Buffy breathed out slowly, still squeezing Faith's hand. She placed her other hand over it as well, adjusting her hold on it, so that she was holding it with both hands. She rubbed it with both thumbs, massaging it gently. The hand stayed limp in hers… but had it grown warmer? Buffy watched her closely, but nothing changed in Faith's expression. It must have been her imagination, or else Buffy's hands were simply warming Faith's.

"I need you, Faithy," she whispered, swallowing. "Not just to help with the slaying… though I won't deny that would be nice. I don't need you for that though- I need _you_. I need you back with me. You're my sister slayer, Faith… and I miss that, I miss you, more than I would have ever thought possible."

Still blinking hard against tears, Buffy watched Faith, almost holding her breath… for she could have sworn that she had seen her eyes twitch, had felt her hand squeeze her own back with ever-so-faint pressure…

Her heart beginning to pound, Buffy leaned forward slightly, searching Faith's features… for nearly ten minutes she waited, watching, hoping, and finally she had to give in. Finally she had to admit that, for today at least, Faith wasn't going to wake up, wasn't going to respond to her.

Her breath came out in a shuddery exhalation, and Buffy closed her eyes briefly, her stomach sinking. Giving Faith's hand one last squeeze, she gently lay it back down at her side, leaning to softly kiss her forehead.

"Bye, Faithy," she whispered, her voice shaking slightly. "I'll come back soon, okay?"

Still bent close to Faith's face, she stroked the young girl's hair, biting her lip with renewed sorrow at how limp and dull it felt between her fingers. Washing it was probably not a top priority for the hospital staff.

She stood with a reluctance that was more bitter than she would have expected. Now that she had seen Faith again she didn't want to leave her- couldn't stand to have that image of her almost lifeless form as her most recent memory of her. But yet, she couldn't stand to stay any longer, to continue to watch a girl who couldn't move or speak, who no longer was the vibrant girl Buffy had known and cared for.

She was nearly at the door when she heard it… a change in the sounds of the monitors, followed by a barely audible noise that sounded like a moan.

Buffy pivoted quickly, her eyes widening… her heart leapt into her throat, hammering so hard and fast she almost thought she would choke. For even from the doorway she could see Faith's limbs twitching slightly, stirring in her bed… and her eyes, her eyes were beginning to move behind their lids.

Another sound came from the girl in the bed, this one slightly louder, though weak. Faith twitched again, and her facial muscles moved, as though she were fighting to awaken.

Buffy barely noticed the gasp that escaped her as she rushed back to the bed, bending over Faith anxiously. Taking up her hand, she began to rub it with hurried but firm pressure, almost sobbing when one of Faith's fingers moved slightly in her hand.

"Faith… Faith, it's me, it's Buffy. Come on, Faith, wake up, come on…"

Faith's eyes were opening… she blinked several times, opening her eyes, closing them, seeming to struggle each time to open them again. When they at last stayed open they were only partly so, and their pupils were clouded and unfocused, her forehead wrinkled with confusion and grogginess. She seemed to be trying to speak, and having difficulty with her attempts.

"B?" she rasped at last, her voice hoarse, weak, and barely intelligible. "B…"

Her eyes slowly shut, then opened again, and her head moved slightly. Buffy squeezed her hand hard, her other hand going to cradle Faith's cheek as she nodded, vaguely aware of the tears dripping off her chin.

"It's me, Faithy," she choked, "I'm here. I'm right here."


	6. Story 6: Comfort unasked for

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. To my great, great sadness.

Additional author notes: Okay, so this story theme/situation has been done to death… I've even written more than few similar to this. However I thought I'd try to put a different twist on the girl's thoughts and relationships in a very familiar fan fic situation. If I failed and I'm just rehashing what everyone has probably read a thousand times, let me know.

Author notes: This is a series of short stories and scenes revolving around Faith and Buffy. Most have a Fuffy theme, but some are just showing them as friends/sister slayers. These are my imaginings of scenes that the show SHOULD have included between them. They take place in different seasons, and most could reasonably fit in at any time in the third or after the seventh, or just whenever you want to.

Story 4: Comfort Unasked For

Sometimes, she let Buffy see her cry… sometimes she didn't. Today was one of the days that she did.

As the low sobbing began, shaking Faith's body in slight jerking spasms, she turned her face away, her shoulders hunching forward as she lowered her face. She was sitting up in the bed, long dark hair loose around her shoulders and cascading down her naked back. Faith neither covered her face with her hands nor attempted to wipe away her tears; she only turned her face and body away, as though she were subconsciously ambivalent as to whether she should seek out Buffy's comfort, or rebuff it.

Buffy had no such inner struggle; she had awakened abruptly as soon as Faith had first began to move in her dreaming state, even before the younger slayer had fully began to grow agitated. Their slayer bond had always been powerful, but ever since their relationship had evolved into one even more complex and intermeshed with each other than they'd ever at first intended- ever since they'd gradually began to have the courage to admit that they were falling for each other- their slayer's connection had only grown stronger and deeper, more intense. Now Buffy often felt sensations that Faith's body alone was experiencing, shared at times with Faith's own personal emotions and feelings, even if she didn't understand them.

Their slayer dream connection had grown as well, and Buffy sometimes wondered if this had anything to do with the fact that they now slept nearly every night in the same bed, often entangled in each other's arms. Though she and Faith shared each other's dreams only sometimes, they each were usually present in the other's… and each instinctively knew and felt the nature of the other slayer's.

Not, of course, that it would have been hard for someone who didn't' share their slayer bond to guess the nature of Faith's. Based solely on her trembling, her silence, and her tears, it didn't take a very astute or observant person to figure out that Faith had had another nightmare. Based on her reaction, a particularly awful and disturbing one.

Buffy would have thought that she'd be used to Faith's nightmares and her reactions to them by now, especially considering that she had witnessed them so often. She would have thought that they would cease to phase her… but each and every time her heart wrenched, and her throat nearly closed as she struggled against tears of sympathy and sorrow for the younger girl's grief. Seeing Faith hurting in this way was something she could never get used to.

She scooted up close to Faith on the bed, one hand on her shoulder, the other on th side of her face, as she gently turned her around, turned her to face her. Faith weakly resisted her for a moment, then allowed Buffy to move her limply, biting her lip and closing her eyes as she was tenderly made to face Buffy, tears still trickling down her face.

Buffy drew Faith into her arms, hugging her tight against her and feeling how hot and flushed the younger girl's skin was against hers, how it still trembled with her emotion. Faith did not return her embrace for several moments, merely sinking against Buffy's body heavily; Buffy could feel her rapid heartbeat in her chest, could feel their slayer connection pulsing in a strong vibrating throb through her body, not altogether unpleasantly. After those first initial moments, Faith's arms slowly went around Buffy, hesitantly at first then more fiercely, clutching Buffy's bare shoulders to the point of pain as she buried her face against Buffy's neck, sniffing back the rest of her tears violently.

Buffy held her tightly, swaying slightly, automatically, rocking Faith as if she were a mother soothing a child even as she held her like a lover. She ran her hand over Faith's hair, back, and shoulders, rubbing, stroking her hand down the length of her while keeping one arm firmly around Faith's waist. She swallowed hard several times, blinking back tears as she tried to comfort Faith, hoping that in her calming of the other girl she would also calm herself.

Gently pulling Faith's face away from her neck, she kissed her in quick, loving succession on the top of her head, the side of her head, her forehead, cheek, and lips, before moving lower, kissing the other girl's shoulder and throat. She felt Faith's rapid pulse beneath her lips and hugged her even tighter, pulling her dark head to her chest and stroking her once more, from the top of her head down the length of her arm and shoulder.

"I've got you, baby," Buffy whispered hoarsely, leaning her cheek down onto Faith's head. "I've got you, you're safe now. I've got you…"

She stopped talking, just petting Faith's hair and arm. She didn't tell her that it was okay, or that it would be okay; Faith would have seen through that lying cliché in a second. She didn't tell her that it had only been a dream, for she could not be sure of that. Slayer dreams were often prophetic… and Buffy suspected that many of Faith's dreams were not only dreams but also memories. She didn't tell her not to cry , for she knew that Faith had reason and right to.

She just held her in her arms, kissing and rubbing her, letting her know with her touch that she was there, that she cared. She held her and waited for Faith to stop shaking, to loosen her hold on her, to finally speak the self-deprecating words she knew would come before she was calm enough to attempt to go back to sleep.

Maybe one day Faith would trust her enough, feel safe enough to talk to her about it, to tell her what she saw, what had happened in her past to wake her nearly every night in such terror and emotional pain… maybe one day she would sleep and not remember her dreams. But until then, Buffy would be there for her when she awakened, giving her whatever comfort she could never bring herself to ask for.


	7. Story 7: On the bus

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. To my great, great sadness.

Additional author notes: So, I haven't watched a single episode from the seventh season, even Chosen, which is when this story takes place directly after. I've read stories, and Lilyme has given me more information as well… but I still don't know if this story could be in any way realistic. Feedback is welcome, good or bad.

Author notes: This is a series of short stories and scenes revolving around Faith and Buffy. Most have a Fuffy theme, but some are just showing them as friends/sister slayers. These are my imaginings of scenes that the show SHOULD have included between them. They take place in different seasons, and most could reasonably fit in at any time in the third or after the seventh, or just whenever you want to.

Story 5: On the bus

Buffy stared out the window of the bus, vaguely seeing the scenery they were passing outside of it, but not remembering any of it as soon as it had passed her by. She leaned her head and shoulder against the window as she turned her face towards it, expressionless. She felt numb, unwilling and unable to move, and the brightness of the sun outside seemed horribly inappropriate.

_It should be raining._

They had been driving for some time now, how long, Buffy could not say. Ever since the destruction of Sunnydale, time seemed to hold no meaning for her. And now that the adrenaline and relief had mostly worn down, she was left with too many thoughts, only helped along by the bus's quiet.

Things had calmed down considerably inside the bus after a while; most of the Potentials who had been crying over their losses or chattering excitedly over their victory had settled down, and the entire bus seemed wrapped in near silence. At any other time the quiet among so many people, especially dozens of young female girls, would have seemed very strange, its presence loud and conspicuous. But now, after all that had happened, it felt right and natural, and Buffy was glad for it. Or rather, she had been, at first.

At first she had spent a good bit of her time looking around the bus somewhat anxiously at the others, making sure that everything was okay, that all was under as much control as possible. And it was… the Potentials were quiet, attending to each other, both injure and uninjured. Willow and Kennedy were leaned together with their arms around each other, faces solemn but composed. Dawn and Xander sat together as well, with Dawn pressing herself up against him, in a loving, little-sisterly hug, her cheek against his chest. Xander had his arm around her shoulders in a correspondingly big-brother fashion, and though there was pain and grief still present in his eye, he too was not crying or venting his emotions. Giles and Andrew were accounted for, as well as could be expected under the circumstances, and even Faith sat across the aisle from Robin, watching him closely as he slept. She occasionally checked his injuries and to be sure that he was, in fact, asleep, and not unconscious or worse.

Looking at Faith with Robin had made Buffy feel a strange contrasting mix of emotions. With all their past, all their issues with each other and the way they had both dealt with them before, Buffy wasn't sure that things between them would ever be the way they could have been at a point years ago, the way Faith had always wanted them to be. But she did know that after what they'd been through now, after fighting once again at Faith's side, she was at least more willing to try.

Who'd have thought they'd see Faith again, under circumstances where they weren't hunting her down to stop her from murdering someone? Who'd have thought that Buffy would ever be glad to see her face along with all the others' on the bus? Who'd have thought Buffy would once more think of her as part of the team, as one of them?

Well, she was now… she had definitely proven herself back there. She and Faith might still have a lot of things to work through, but trusting her was not one of them.

Two people, however, had been noticeably missing from her scanning. Anya had been killed in battle…and Spike…

Buffy pressed her forehead harder against the window's cool glass, blinking quickly. She had retreated to the back seat of the bus for this very reason, to be able to be as removed from the others as possible so she could be alone to think, to remember, even to cry if she needed or wanted to. But now that she had been sitting there for some time, she almost couldn't stand it, wanted to tear herself apart as something separate from her thoughts and feelings. They were just too much and too many to deal with.

She had told Spike that she loved him. She didn't know if that was true, as fully as he had wanted and needed… but she knew that it had at least been true in that moment. She knew that she was grieving for him now…

He had given his life for her, for her and for all the others. He had given up him immortality, and try as she might to stop herself from remembering the last look she'd ever seen on his face, she couldn't. A look of love, of peace, of determined resolve to do the right and noble thing… the look of a hero.

Buffy blinked harder, knowing she needed to cry, that she _should_ cry, but finding herself fighting it, unwilling to let go. To give in and cry would be to admit to herself that it had all really happened, it was all really over, and right now to admit that would be more than she could handle.

Her skin buzzed suddenly, and she knew without looking up, without hearing the other slayer speak, that Faith had approached her. Slayer connections could be useful things.

"Hey, B," she said simply, her voice lower, raspier than usual.

Buffy turned her head slowly, looking somewhat dully at the other young woman. Faith was standing before her seat a bit awkwardly, one arm crossed over her stomach, holding onto the back of Buffy's seat with her other hand to balance herself against the bus's movement. She gave Buffy a small, almost nervous smile that Buffy tried to return but suspected hadn't quite made it to her lips.

"Hey," Buffy replied quietly.

Faith glanced down, then past Buffy out the window quickly, before returning her eyes to Buffy's. She shifted her weight, clearly uneasy, something that still struck Buffy as strange to witness in her. The old Faith had never been uncomfortable, or at least would never had admitted to it. It was hard for her to get used to this new, slightly softer and more mature Faith, even though she knew logically how Faith had changed.

"B?" Faith said suddenly, her voice abrupt, but still quiet, hesitant. "You mind if I sit with you?"

She kept her eyes fixed on Buffy's, and Buffy wondered briefly if she knew how much tension showed through in them. Faith obviously had a specific reason she wanted to sit with Buffy- she obviously had something she wanted to say, but dreaded doing so. She probably thought that Buffy would deny her quiet request, send her back to her original seat.

And as Buffy looked at her, she was about to do exactly that, to tell Faith that yes, she minded, that she wanted and needed to be alone. For any other person, she would have said yes…

But as her eyes held Faith's, she saw their ambivalence, their strange mixing of determination and strength along with a weary vulnerability. She felt herself wavering as well, her ready reply dwindling as she wondered just how long it had taken Faith to decide to come to her and ask her. Somehow she couldn't bring herself to send the other slayer back to her seat.

"No," she said quietly, lowering her eyes. "Go ahead, Faith."

Buffy was already sitting pressed up against the window, so there was no need to make room for her. Faith sat beside her slowly, leaving enough distance between them so that they were not touching as she glanced at Buffy.

"Thanks, B," she said in the same quiet, subdued, rather un-Faith-like tone. She paused, seeming from her expression as if she were about to say something, but instead just kept looking at Buffy, frowning slightly. Buffy knew then suddenly what it was Faith was approaching her to say… the question was whether someone had sent her, or she had come of her own accord.

She had to head her off- she didn't want to deal with questions and pep talks, especially from the not-so-skillful-at-subtlety Faith. She didn't want to talk or think about anything at all. It wasn't that she minded Faith's presence so much, or even if Faith talked to her… but if Faith said a word to her about…

She had to distract her, that was all there was to it.

"How's Robin, Faith?" she said quickly, already knowing the answer. If the principal wasn't doing okay, Faith wouldn't have left him to sit with Buffy. But it was something to say anyway, something to distract her with, possibly get her thinking and talking about something else.

"Hangin' in ," Faith replied, and there was a measure of relief in her tone. Maybe she didn't want to say what she'd come to say as much as Buffy didn't want to hear it- maybe she too was glad for a distraction, an excuse to talk about something else. "I think he'll be alright. He's sleeping right now, one of the girls is watching him for me."

"Yeah," Buffy replied, "that's good, Faith, that's great."

"Yeah," Faith repeated slowly, then looked over at Buffy with new resolve in her expression. "B-"

"You care about him, don't you, Faith?" Buffy interrupted quickly, but even though her intent was mostly to head Faith off again, her tone was gentle.

Surprised, Faith's eyes widened a little, and her features shifted involuntarily as she shrugged.

"Well, I don't know, you know me, B-"

"Don't give me that 'get some and get gone' crap, Faith," Buffy said quietly, looking the other woman in the eye. "I saw the way you looked when you knew he was alive, when you were taking care of him. It's a little more than that. I know you at least care about him a little."

"Well then why are you asking me, B?" Faith muttered, shifting herself in discomfort. "You just think it's funny to see me squirm? It ain't like that anyway, it's nothin' big. You have someone around a little while, you get used to them, is all."

She slid her gaze over to Buffy with a little grin, her dark eyes glimmering with faint impishness. "I got used to _you_, after all, so my guess is anyone else is nothin'."

Buffy found herself smiling back at her a little in spite of herself.

"Gee, I'm touched, Faith," she said sarcastically; if it had been years earlier, she would have given her a playful nudge that would have of course provoked a counter-nudge that would probably have felt more like a punch. But the two were older now, young women instead of the girls they had been, and they had had too many years pass, too much happening between them to so easily fall back into such simple affectionate behavior. It wasn't that either were so opposed to it- they 

just felt that in light of everything, they couldn't do so without it feeling fake, forced. At least, not today.

"Do you love him?" Buffy asked quietly, searching Faith's eyes. Faith looked away quickly, shifting in her seat once more; if Buffy hadn't known better, she would have sworn the other slayer was blushing.

"I thought you didn't think I could love anyone but myself?" Faith said with too-obviously-trying flippancy. "You changin' your mind about me, B?"

"Never," Buffy reassured her dryly, then more seriously, "I never thought that, Faith. I might have wanted to think that, but I never really did."

Faith shrugged, laughing a little and giving Buffy a slightly smirky smile.

"Coulda fooled me, B."

"No, I mean it," Buffy insisted. "And you never answered my question, Faith. Do you love him?"

Faith shrugged, smiling in a way that was clearly uncomfortable as she looked at Buffy, looked away, then looked back again.

"Damn, B, you really enjoy this, don't you?"

"No," Buffy said calmly, though she had to admit that it didn't suck to watch Faith get flustered for once. "I just am curious, Faith. I don't think I've ever heard you say you love anyone."

"Well, it's not like tons of people have been givin' me much reason to say it," she muttered. "And even if they had been, that ain't exactly what I do, go around sayin' it all the time."

She sighed, her shoulders dropping.

"I don't know, B. Really, I don't know. How does _anyone_ ever know?"

"You'll know, Faith," Buffy said quietly. "Some part of you always does…"

Her voice trailed off, and she pressed her lips together tightly. Dammit, how did it always get back to this, back to-

"Faith?" she said hurriedly, almost nervously, trying now to head off her own thoughts rather than Faith's. "I'm glad he's going to be okay."

Oh no, oh shit… great job, Buffy, great way to steer the conversation, your thoughts, away… for all she could think of now was those who had not been okay. Spike, who had not been okay…

She dropped her eyes, pressing her lips together again as her shoulders tensed, drawing up rigidly. She could not look at Faith now, didn't dare speak to her… but she couldn't stop Faith from doing so.

She could feel Faith watching her, could feel her indecision… and then a warm hand was on her arm, sending a brief sparking up her chest.

"Buffy," Faith said slowly, the softness of her tone making her words huskier than normal. "I know you probably don't' wanna hear this, especially from me… but I'm, I'm sorry about Spike."

Here it was, she'd finally said it, Buffy had finally heard what she knew all along must be coming… now she could accept her words stiffly and send her back to her seat, back to Robin. The worst was over, she'd heard it, and she was still alive, still sitting there…

Buffy looked back at Faith, preparing herself to nod and thank her, to tell her to back off in as civilized yet pointed a manner as she could. But then her eyes met Faith's… and she saw in them an empathy, a strong understanding that Buffy was completely unaccustomed to seeing. Not only from Faith, but from anyone. Sympathy she was used to, sympathy she could deal with. She was sick to death of sympathy. But empathy… and empathy from Faith, of all people…

Several moments had passed before Buffy even realized she was crying; it took seeing her own tears drop into her lap to understand why her eyes felt so hot, why she was shaking, finding it hard to breathe. She could feel Faith's discomfort as she felt her tense. Even without looking she knew the other slayer would be grimacing, almost panicked at Buffy's reaction… and yet Faith kept her hand on Buffy's arm, not saying a word, just making her presence beside her known.

A few days ago, Buffy would have never allowed herself to cry in front of Faith… hell, a few hours ago. She would have been enraged by the thought of letting Faith see such weakness, giving her such satisfaction. But now that she couldn't stop it, couldn't help it, she didn't mind, it didn't seem to matter. And she knew somehow now that as much as Faith might hate it or be made to feel awkward by it, she understood and was not judging her.

Somehow Buffy found herself to be turning in towards Faith slowly, putting her head on her shoulder as she continued to cry in quiet, pained sobs that shook her small frame. It felt like a natural move somehow, like there was no other place for her to go. And sure enough, Buffy could feel Faith's strong arm, slowly, hesitantly wrapping around her, pulling her in closer to her.

As Faith leaned her head down to Buffy's, still not speaking, only holding her close, Buffy could hear her shuddery breaths, could feel them moving through Faith's 

body. And she knew that only a tremendous amount of effort kept the younger slayer from letting herself cry as well.


	8. Story 8: Too comfortable

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. To my great, great sadness.

Author notes: This is a series of short stories and scenes revolving around Faith and Buffy. Most have a Fuffy theme, but some are just showing them as friends/sister slayers. These are my imaginings of scenes that the show SHOULD have included between them. They take place in different seasons, and most could reasonably fit in at any time in the third or after the seventh, or just whenever you want to.

Story 6: Too comfortable

Buffy smiled down lovingly at the sleeping slayer, her heart seeming to expand in her chest with the affection she felt for her. Faith's body was stretched out, curled up slightly, over the length of the couch they were sitting on together, her head in Buffy's lap; she had settled into this position about fifteen minutes ago, and already she was asleep, as soundly and innocently as a little girl.

Looking down at her lover's face, Buffy could feel the familiar warm fuzzies, as she liked to call them, filing her stomach with the love and happiness she felt. She caressed Faith's long hair gently, loving the feel of its silky smoothness in her fingers, and leaned forward slightly, kissing first Faith's forehead, then her full lips. Faith stirred slightly, her eyes moving under her eyelids as she moved her head a little on Buffy's lap, but she did not awaken. Buffy pulled her arm tighter over Faith's shoulders, pressing the other young woman in even closer against her as she breathed in the scent of her. She loved the way Faith smelled even more since she had managed to bribe her into quitting smoking.

In this moment, lying with Faith in her arms, Buffy was perfectly content, perfectly relaxed. This had been exactly what she'd wanted for the night…

Faith had wanted to pursue other plans for the evening initially, of course. Her suggestion to Buffy had been that they go out for drinks and dancing, then come back for sex. Not that there was anything wrong with that plan, or that Buffy wouldn't usually have been enthused by it- minus the alcohol part anyway- but tonight Buffy had wanted to do something a little different, a little more low-key.

When she'd suggested to Faith that they just stay in and rent a video, snuggling together as they watched it, Faith had pouted and protested a little at first, then perked up a bit, waggling her eyebrows and grinning as she asked Buffy if that was a more delicate way of saying "getting porn and copying the moves." When Buffy had just looked at her, Faith's smile had slipped, and she'd muttered something about the blonde slayer not knowing how to have fun or letting Faith have any either. She had ended up agreeing a bit begrudgingly eventually, as long as she could pick the movie.

"There's no way I'm seein' anymore of that lovey dovey googly-eyed sap crap you like to much, B," she'd muttered. "Gives you too many expectations anyway. How the hell am I supposed to measure up to all that anyway?"

Buffy suspected that it wasn't quite as big a deal to Faith as she made out to give in to her; she knew that Faith enjoyed cuddling with her every bit as much as she did, although the other woman was loathe to admit it. That was how they slept nearly every night now, and not just on nights when they had sex. Buffy suspected sometimes that Faith not only enjoyed it, but also needed it in a way. It seemed to make her more content and confident overall, even when they were not touching or even really interacting with each other. It was as if being with Buffy, knowing that she had her love and by receiving evidence of it via physical contact and affection, Faith was getting reassurance that she mattered, that she was in fact capable of being loved, and that sex did not always need to be involved. These were sentiments that, though she never spoke of them, Buffy knew she was learning much later in her life than she should have.

Faith rarely had nightmares anymore, and if she did, they definitely were not as intense and disturbing to her as the ones she'd had when she was younger, the ones she'd tried haltingly to tell Buffy about even when they were teenagers, still awkwardly operating under the roles of "just friends". Buffy thought that her more peaceful sleep was due not only to the passage of time and her beginning to deal with her past, but also their new sleeping arrangements. Reassuring snuggling plus their powerful strength-sharing slayer bond was a kind of therapy that needed no words.

Faith had picked out some video called Planet Terror to watch, a ridiculously overdone B movie full of blood, explosions, flesh-eating zombies, and half-dressed, 

well-endowed girls, one who had a machine gun in place of a leg that had been gnawed off by a zombie. As Buffy had stared at her, appalled by Faith's choice for a romantic evening, Faith had defended herself with, "What? They made it bad on purpose, that's why it's so good! Besides, in Sunnydale, flesh eating zombies are a helluva lot more realistic than romance."

Ironically enough, despite her original evening suggestions, her action-packed video choice, and her initial energized restlessness that had caused her to shift and squirm all over the place, it had been Faith who had fallen asleep. Buffy had noticed before that in this way, Faith was like a child; she ran and ran like an Energizer bunny or something, full speed, full energy, until she abruptly ran out, coming to a halt as her energy and adrenaline gave out.

Buffy smiled down at her again, still stroking Faith's hair. She couldn't bring herself to wake her; Faith looked so sweet when asleep, her face smooth and unguarded, with none of the defenses she often put on while awake. It made Buffy want to hug her until some of the loving ache in her heart for Faith faded.

Buffy gently moved her arms under Faith's knees and shoulders, lifting her and holding her close up against her as though she were a small child. Standing, she began to carry Faith down the hall to her bedroom, thinking to herself with a little grin that slayer strength could be pretty freakin' awesome sometimes. Faith did not awaken when Buffy lifted her, but only stirred slightly, nestling her head onto Buffy's shoulder. As Buffy opened her bedroom door carefully, she backed into it, careful not to bump Faith's head or feet on the door frame. She carefully lay her down on the bed, first pulling back the sheets as best as she could while still cradling Faith in her arms. Crawling in beside her, she snuggled up to her from behind, wrapping her arms around Faith's waist and putting her face into the crook of her neck. Closing her eyes, she listened to the steady pulse at Faith's throat, finding it a reassuring background to fall asleep to.

I left the movie playing, she realized suddenly, just as she was drifting off to sleep, but she dismissed the thought almost immediately. She was way, way too comfortable to move.


	9. Story 9: The Chosen Two

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. To my great, great sadness.

**Additional author notes: This chapter is rated M. If you do not like femslash or you are not of age, please go elsewhere.**

Author notes: This is a series of short stories and scenes revolving around Faith and Buffy. Most have a Fuffy theme, but some are just showing them as friends/sister slayers. These are my imaginings of scenes that the show SHOULD have included between them. They take place in different seasons, and most could reasonably fit in at any time in the third or after the seventh, or just whenever you want to.

Story 7: The Chosen Two

Buffy hissed in pain, gritting her teeth and stiffening as she tried to press herself harder against the table she was lying face down on. She was instinctively trying to escape from the needle that was repeatedly inserting its sharp tip into the base of her spine.

"Hold still," came the flat, almost bored tone of the man standing over her, as, swabbing her back briefly, he drove the needle home again. Buffy hissed again, the noise turning into a sound of anger as well as pain as she tried to lift her head the best she could to glare at the third person in the room.

"Ow, ow, ow! What the hell are you doing, using an ax?" she growled. "Dammit, Faith, if you don't stop smiling like that I will crush your hand into ground up bones!"

She squeezed Faith's hand with a good portion of her slayer strength to emphasize her sincerity, but Faith, who had been holding her hand since the tattooing process began five minutes ago, was unfazed by the force of Buffy's pressure on her hand. She just squeezed Buffy's slightly smaller hand back every bit as hard, her dark eyes fairly dancing with her amusement and enjoyment as her grin widened.

"Whatever, blondie, like you could really do that. Like I'd really let you."

"Oh, you wanna bet on that?" Buffy threatened, her tone ominous. She stiffened again as the soldering machine continued on in its progress, the needle digging in and out of a new area. "Ow! Dammit!"

She squeezed Faith's hand even tighter in a grip that would have broken the bones of any other girl, but Faith's strength and grip matched Buffy's. The younger slayer's expression didn't even change.

"You said it didn't hurt, Faith!" she accused, glowering at her fiercely and speaking in a growl. "Damn, how did you get this done when you were fifteen?! And before you were a slayer, no less! How could you just- ow!- lay there ten minutes ago- ow, shit!- and not make a sound?! You lay there like it was nothing, you said it didn't hurt! OW!" she almost yelled, and only Faith's hand in hers and Faith's other hand quickly going to her shoulder, lightly restraining her, kept her from jumping off the table and decking the tattoo guy in the face.

"What can I say, B, I guess we're just finally gettin' proof that I've been tougher than you all along," Faith smirked almost gleefully. "See, I always told you I could kick your ass any time I wanted."

"Oh, we'll see about that one, _Faithy_," Buffy muttered dangerously, the nickname sounding like a curse as she sucked her breath in sharply. Looking at her more closely, Faith's face grew more serious, her dark eyes showing concern as she loosened her grip on Buffy's shoulder. She began to rub it soothingly as she peered into Buffy's face, still holding her hand.

"You're okay though, right? It's not that bad, is it?"

"Faith, do you really want me to answer that?" Buffy said slowly, her words very distinctly and deliberately enunciated. Seeing the pissed-off look still prominent in Buffy's blue-green eyes, Faith grinned, shaking her head.

"I got it, B, slayer connection comin' through loud and clear. You gotta admit this is pretty funny though. All that slayer strength and healing and pain tolerance, and Twinkie yelps and gives death threats over a tattoo."

"Shut up, Faith," Buffy glowered, gritting her teeth as she stiffened her back once more.

"I'm just sayin', it's cute, B," Faith went on heedlessly, her eyes glowing as she began to play with Buffy's hair with the hand not still locked in Buffy's bruising grip.

"Faith, shut up!"

"All right, all right, jeez!"

Twenty minutes later it was over, and Buffy was sitting up hurriedly, pulling her shirt down over the bandaged area on her lower back. The tattoo artist looked at both girls dully, reciting the instructions for aftercare as though he were reading the back of a cereal box.

"Take the bandages off after two hours. No direct sunlight for the first week, don't be getting them wet for the first day. No pools or Jacuzzis for a week, the chlorine will make the color fade. Clean them with soap and water for the first week to keep them from getting infected. Let the scabs form and fall off naturally, don't pick at them."

"Yeah, okay," Buffy muttered, too irritated to feign politeness, not to mention pride-stricken at her earlier outburst. Was she really wimpier than Faith, or had Faith just been playing the tough girl? How the hell had she lay there and not made a sound, not even letting Buffy hold her hand?!

That, more than the actual pain Buffy had felt, was what bothered her; that either Faith had felt nowhere near the pain Buffy had, or else she felt like she couldn't show her that she did. Either way, something was wrong with one of them.

"You are so dead, Faith," Buffy growled as she strode out of the room and into the lobby, Faith easily keeping up with her purposeful stride. "Why did you lie and tell me it didn't hurt?!"

"I didn't lie," Faith said innocently, dimples ruining her blameless tone. "How can I help it if you're just more sensitive?"

"You're impossible," Buffy muttered, shaking her head, as they stepped outside. "Remind me again why I just did this…"

"Easy, B," Faith replied casually, looping her arm around Buffy's shoulders and pulling her close. "Cuz you love me."

And even as she pouted, narrowing her eyes, Buffy couldn't deny the truth of her lover's words.

Buffy moaned as Faith's fingers slowly, teasingly slid their way down her bare back, making her arch her spine and shiver. The noise was cut off as Faith's lips found hers, swallowing Buffy's sounds. Buffy kissed her back breathlessly, one hand in Faith's dark wavy hair as the other clutched the young woman's bare shoulder, pulling her hard against her. Dizzying, exhilarating sensations ran through her entire being, sparking, crackling, as her heart raced; she could feel Faith's heart close to hers, rapidly pulsing as well. Only the barest amount of flesh and tissue kept them separate from each other's.

They were clutching at each other, rubbing, stroking, nearly grinding against each other's bodies in a way that was so hurried, so needy in their impatient desire that they were almost clumsy. Everything seemed to Buffy to be too slow, too frustratingly limited. She could not touch Faith everywhere she wanted as fast as she wanted, and neither could Faith for her.

Both slayers were panting slightly in between deep kisses, pulling their faces apart only for a few seconds at a time to draw in breathe before drawing together again. Their bodies were heated, almost hot to the touch, and yet chills ran down Buffy's spine. She couldn't get enough of this- she could never get enough of this. And judging from Faith's passionate response, neither could she.

Afterward they lay closely entangled in each other's arms, breathing heavily, their limbs finally relaxing, limp and loose around each other. Buffy smiled at the look in Faith's eyes, an almost childlike expression of contentment that softened her features and slightly brought forth her dimples. She nestled in even closer to her, resting her blonde head on her chest.

Faith's smiled widened, and she caressed Buffy's hair, gently shifting both herself and Buffy so they were lying on their sides, facing each other. Pulling Buffy closer to her once more so that the older girl's head was buried in her chest, she continued to stroke her hair.

"Still mad at me, B?" she said huskily, and her strokes grew longer, going from the top of Buffy's head all the way down to her backside.

Buffy shivered again, one hand going to grip Faith's hair as she caught her breath.

"Always," she breathed, as her other hand ran down to the base of Faiths back.

She could feel Faith's fingers, lightly tracing the scabby outline of her new tattoo. Buffy's fingers began to mirror her movements on the other slayer's back, slightly faster, until they were caught up, moving in perfect synchrony as they outlined the identical lettering…. The identical inked characters reading 'The Chosen Two.'


	10. Story 10: Season's Greetings pt 1

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. To my great, great sadness.

Additional author notes: This takes place Christmas third season. Angel has not come back and will not come back.

Author notes: This is a series of short stories and scenes revolving around Faith and Buffy. Most have a Fuffy theme, but some are just showing them as friends/sister slayers. These are my imaginings of scenes that the show SHOULD have included between them. They take place in different seasons, and most could reasonably fit in at any time in the third or after the seventh, or just whenever you want to.

Story 8: Season's Greetings

Faith realized that she was smiling gently as she looked around the Summers's living room, taking in once more the gaily decorated interior. The candles, the holly, the wreaths and displayed Christmas cards, the snow globes and Santa doll and snowman figurines on the shelf above the fireplace, the pictures of Buffy as a little girl on Santa's lap… Faith noticed with wry amusement that little-girl Buffy was brunette, her hair a brown a few shades lighter than Faith's own.

Mostly though, Faith's gaze lingered on the Summers's Christmas tree, which was bedecked with colorful balls and candy canes, Buffy's childhood homemade ornaments, and brightly colored flashing lights. Faith had actually helped Buffy and her mother, Joyce, put up the tree and decorate it two weeks ago. She didn't think she'd done such a hot job on her part, tending to put too many ornaments in one area, and she'd snuck at eating more than a few of the "decorative" candy canes. This had prompted Buffy to do so as well, in spite of Joyce's mock-stern looks. Hey, food was food in Faith's book, not decoration- and hanging candy right at someone's eye level was begging for it to be eaten. She'd seen Xander take a few after some drooly eyeballing tonight too.

Regardless of the lack of candy canes and her own clumsy ornament distribution, Faith though that the Summers's Christmas tree was beautiful. Throughout the evening, and even in the two weeks before, whenever she had come to their house, she had found her eyes drifting towards it in a wistful yet somehow prideful admiration. She could not remember ever having had a Christmas tree as a kid, and Faith had certainly never helped decorate one. If she couldn't have one herself, she was glad that Buffy could… and in a way, she almost felt that it was partly hers too.

It was Christmas Eve, and Faith had spent the evening at the Summers's house at their Christmas gathering. Faith hadn't wanted to come when Buffy first invited her, especially since she was pretty sure Buffy's mother had asked her to. She had lied to the older slayer, telling her she was going to a party. Of course there was no party- and had there been, Faith would have been crashing it, not an invited guest. Who would have invited her? Who did she even know in Sunnydale besides Buffy and her friends?

It wasn't that Faith didn't want to be around Buffy, or that she didn't want to go to a Christmas party- it was just that she didn't want to feel awkward and pathetic there. Like an outside, a charity case, the girl with no family, no home, and no money, being asked out of pity. Besides, she was pretty sure that Giles and the Scoobies would be there too, and they would no doubt be bursting with holiday cheer.

She had told herself this several times, but then, when 6:00 rolled around, the time Buffy had told her the gathering was starting, Faith had found herself pacing the room restlessly, feeling so frustrated and depressed at the thought of sitting alone in her crappy motel room on Christmas Eve that she couldn't hold still. By the twentieth revolution around her bed, she knew she wouldn't be able to stand it. She was going to have to go to Buffy's party and pray to all listening deities not to feel too pathetic there.

The only problem was gifts. Faith knew they'd be giving them… they might even have something for her. She had made a present for Buffy the same day she'd helped her put up her Christmas tree, not sure if she'd actually give it to her, but feeling she needed to be prepared to do so. Faith had taken one of the few remaining stakes her late Watcher had given her and carved pretty swirly designs on it, something she figured a girly-girl like Buffy would appreciate. On one side of it she had carved 'B,' Buffy's initial, and 'The Chosen Two.' She had made herself another stake like Buffy's to match, only with her initial instead of Buffy's.

She'd felt pretty lame and ashamed of her gift and its stupid sentimentality afterward, like a fifth grade girl giving out best friend necklaces. But she didn't have 

time on Christmas Eve had rolled around to get her something else. The stake would have to do.

Joyce had been harder. She'd never gotten her anything, or the Scoobies either, and as Faith looked around her mostly bare motel, she had felt her stomach clinch in anxiety, what was she supposed to do, she had to get them _something_!

And then it had dawned on her. She had gone to the dresser quickly, pulling out of a pair of socks the pearl earrings her Watcher had once given her to wear 'for any future formal occasions.' Faith hadn't liked the earrings at the time, though she had been touched by the thought. She'd had no intentions of wearing them and never had. But after her Watcher had been killed, she just couldn't bring herself to pawn them off or anything.

Now there would be good use for them… she could give them to Joyce. She could use them better than Faith ever could or would, and they looked like something she'd even like.

Of course, Joyce would probably think they were stolen or something… but Faith wasn't about to tell her they'd been her Watcher's. Joyce would never have accepted them if she knew that; she'd feel too guilty.

Thinking of something for Giles and the Scoobies was harder, but an idea had come to Faith finally. Getting out a pen and paper, she had torn it into five pieces and wrote on each piece, "I owe you one life-saving." It was stupid, but on such short notice, it was all she could come up with, unless she was going to get them each a candy bar or something. Besides, all the stores were closed.

As she'd predicted, Faith had felt pretty awkward at first, arriving at Buffy's house on foot with her 'presents' in a plastic bag, unwrapped. Especially when she saw all the presents under Buffy's tree and had to backpedal from her story about the party she'd been invited to. But both Buffy and her mother had seemed surprised and excited to see her, both giving her a hug and telling her they were glad she had come. When Buffy hugged her, Faith had found herself breathing in the older slayer's scent, almost savoring the feel of her, the smell of her hair…

And the evening had been nice, much better than Faith had pessimistically expected. They had done all the things that were typical holiday traditions, straight out of the movies. Things Faith would have scoffed at and sneered over before, but had fun doing with Buffy and the others. Drinking hot chocolate and eggnog- non-alcoholic, unfortunately- having a nice dinner by the fire (even though it was seventy degrees outside), even singing a few Christmas songs with everyone badly off-key.

Faith had refused at first to join in with the singing- that was just way too dorky and lame, not to mention that her singing voice sucked and would embarrass her. But when Buffy came up to her from behind, looping an arm around her casually as she sang "O Holy Night" loudly and badly in her ear, grinning, Faith had to smile too. Very aware of the way Buffy stayed so close to her, keeping her arm around her loosely, she had hesitantly joined in on the next song, "Jingle Bells," even though it usually annoyed the hell out of her.

Of course, she'd had to make sarcastic comments before and after, as had Cordelia, but the fact remained that both of them had joined in, and both had enjoyed it. Faith had felt something warm and strangely both pleasant and painful fill her chest, a sensation she could not identify.

Everyone had had a good time, laughing and talking and teasing each other, looking at and touching each other with even more affection than usual. The night's date seemed to have put everyone in an amazing mood, and Faith began to relax and enjoy herself. She was actually starting to feel like maybe she did belong with the others in her own way, that they did accept her- maybe actually care for her a little. Maybe they didn't view her as such a charity case after all… maybe it wasn't so bad to hang with them…

To be continued

Author notes: Yes, I know this is boring and has no dialogue. There will be three parts to this story. The second part will have more dialogue but will still be a bit slow… the third part is the one you guys are probably most interested in, lol.


	11. Story 11: Season's Greetings pt 2

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. To my great, great sadness.

Additional author notes: This takes place Christmas third season. Angel has not come back and will not come back.

Author notes: This is a series of short stories and scenes revolving around Faith and Buffy. Most have a Fuffy theme, but some are just showing them as friends/sister slayers. These are my imaginings of scenes that the show SHOULD have included between them. They take place in different seasons, and most could reasonably fit in at any time in the third or after the seventh, or just whenever you want to.

Story 8: Season's Greetings pt 2

Of course, once they got around to gift exchanges, Faith had felt pretty lame again. Here she was with her crappy presents that weren't even wrapped, and everyone had something for her, even Cordelia. _Wrapped_ stuff. That had cost money.

Cordelia had got her makeup, saying with emphasis that it would go much better with her complexion than the "tacky dark stuff she always uses." Oz had got her a CD; Faith appreciated the sentiment even if she didn't have a CD player to listen to it in. Giles had for her a book on the history of slayers; again, Faith appreciated it even though she doubted she'd ever actually read beyond the first page.

Xander's choice of a literary present was more up her alley- Electra comic books. He'd seemed rather pleased with himself at the emergence of her dimpled beam, especially when she gave him an enthusiastic hug to emphasize her gratitude. He _had_ to have been appreciating whatever contact with Faith and her breasts that he could get.

Willow had been all twitchy and nervous when she handed Faith her gift, muttering something about how Faith wouldn't like it.

"I, I just thought it was funny, and cute, but, but I know you're not really a funny and cute kind of girl-"

"Gee, thanks, Red," Faith had laughed sarcastically, raising an eyebrow as she started to tear into the wrapping. Opening gifts delicately, like a brain surgeon or something- the way Buffy unwrapped them- was definitely not her thing.

Willow had flushed, horrified at herself. "No, that's not what I meant! I didn't mean you're not cute and funny, Faith, you're cute, you're really-"

"It's five by five, Red," Faith had snickered before pulling Willow's gift out of the wrapping paper. She had received a goofy-looking bean bag vampire doll, complete with a widow's peak, black cape, and a fang-y smile. Faith had stared at it for a second before breaking out in laughter.

Of course, that had made Willow more nervous than ever; the girl had actually started to wring her hands.

"I know, it was stupid, I just thought-"

"No, I love it, Red," Faith had chuckled, shaking her head. "Finally a vamp that won't talk back."

She had given the other girl an impulsive hug as well; she was feeling by then much more open and relaxed then she could ever before remember feeling. Almost sentimental… there was a weird stirring in her chest she was not used to, the same paradoxical sensation she'd felt before… something she almost thought could be love…

What was with her anyway, was she turning into a big sap or what? Coming over, hugging people, caring what people thought of her and her presents… was it just the holiday, or was she _really_ starting to love these people?

She'd better watch out. Whatever it was, whichever the reason, Faith had to be careful. It was dangerous to let herself feel this way… it wasn't her, it wasn't the way she operated.

In spite of her embarrassed half-apologies over her own gifts to the others, they had gone over pretty well. The others had smiled at her life-saving 'coupons'- well, except for Cordelia, but Faith didn't especially care in her case. Xander had even hugged her again- of course, that was probably just another excuse to press up against her twins. And Buffy and Joyce… both had reacted way better than Faith had hoped. Joyce had gasped at her earrings, looking at Faith with a softness and amazement that had made her actually flush, looking away in embarrassment.

"Oh honey, you shouldn't have. These are beautiful, but-"

"They're imitation," Faith had lied quickly, shrugging with faked casualness. "I got 'em at a pawn shop, they weren't that much. I just thought you'd like 'em."

"Well of course I do, honey, they're beautiful," Joyce had told her warmly, and there was yet another hug for Faith. Faith could feel her cheeks warming, and that weird feeling in her chest just got stronger. Joyce called her honey with the same thoughtless affection she did with her daughter… and for some reason it didn't bother Faith. She even kinda liked it.

Faith had made sure to give Buffy her present before Buffy gave her hers; she didn't' want to look completely cheap and lame yet again, because Buffy's gift to her had no doubt actually cost money. And it was Buffy's reaction more than anyone else's that she cared about. She didn't want to see Buffy's pity or polite faked enthusiasm over her gift… well, she knew she'd probably see it anyway, btu not as much as if Buffy gave Faith her present to open first.

Faith had found herself to be almost holding her breath as she handed Buffy her personalized stake from the plastic bag, having to restrain herself from biting her lip or looking at the ground. Still, she could not quite look the older slayer in the 

eye as she muttered, "I made myself one like that too, it's no big deal or nothin'. Kinda stupid but I couldn't think of anything else."

But when she had finally dared to glance at Buffy's face, she had been shocked to see the softness in her eyes, the same that had just been reflected in her mother's. It was as if she were touched… how could she be touched? It was a stupid stake, it was a stupid present, how-

"No, Faith, it's not stupid," she said a little huskily, and Faith had looked at her sharply- was she _crying_? God she was, she actually was blinking back tears. What did _that_ mean? Faith didn't know how she felt, what to think as Buffy took her hand, blinking while squeezing it tightly.

"It's not stupid, Faith, I love it. Thank you," Buffy elaborated, her voice a little steadier. As Faith looked at her, frowning slightly with confused unbelief, Buffy pulled her into a hug… a hug that lasted just a little while longer, brought her body in just a little closer and harder than all the other hugs she'd received today had…

Faith found herself holding her breath, barely able to feel her own arms going around Buffy automatically, her hands feeling Buffy's hair underneath them. She could feel Buffy's cheek against hers, her heart beating in her chest nearly as fast as Faith's own… and that pleasant/painful feeling was swelling larger, she almost felt like it would explode out of her and manifest itself in some physical form. She wanted to shove Buffy away, to distance herself, make herself return to normal again… and yet she wanted to clutch her so tightly against her she would have trouble breathing.

Where were these thoughts coming from?! What was _wrong_ with her?

Faith had tried to keep her face straight, tried to look nonchalant, even annoyed, as she pulled away from Buffy, but she was terrified that someone would know, someone would somehow see how she really felt…

It only got worse when Buffy gave Faith her present. As Faith tore it open, she was alternately shocked, thrilled, and horrified to see that it was a leather jacket… a _real_ leather jacket, not the fake vinyl cheap one she had bought at the Salvation Army for 5. This one was the real deal, and this one was brand new, exactly her style… and clearly expensive.

"Mom helped me pay for it," Buffy said quickly as she peered at Faith's stunned expression, seeming to feel the need to break the silence of Faith's rare speechlessness. "A lot. She helped a lot. So don't worry or feel bad or anything, it's from both of us. I, I thought you might like a new jacket, the old one's kinda thin, and it's got ripped up fighting vamps-"

"God," Faith had interrupted hoarsely, shaking her head… and damn if she didn't' have to swallow a stupid friggin' lump in her throat. She was not, she would _not_ fucking cry! What was _up_ with her lately, becoming this huge wimp? "God, B… Mrs. S… I, it's… thank you."

She didn't know what else to say, couldn't have said it coherently anyway. Instead she found herself hugging Joyce again, and then Buffy… and she wanted so badly to be able to somehow take back her own gift, to give Buffy something that would adequately show her how she felt.

But how _did_ she feel? What was she thinking, what did she want?

Whatever it was, it didn't' matter. Faith knew she could never have it… so she better get over it, fast.

To be continued


	12. Story 12: Seasons' greetings pt 3

Disclaimer and story notes in first part of this story

Additional author notes: Okay, so I lied… this ended up being much longer than I figured, more like "hours of Faith and Buffy" rather than a "moment" with Faith and Buffy… so this will be posted in four parts, not three.

Story 8: Season's Greetings pt 3

Faith was almost sorry when the others started to leave. As much as she would have preferred the entire evening to have been Giles-and-Scooby-less, for the whole time to have been just her and Buffy and Mrs. Summers, she had actually enjoyed being around them, actually enjoyed herself nearly the entire time. Even Queen Cordelia hadn't been up to quite the bitch level she was usually at…

Besides the fact that she had had fun with them, Faith dreaded the others' departure, because she knew that she would have to go too. She would have to go back to her motel room sooner rather than later, back to her sinking mattress and the lukewarm shower, the badly painted walls and the annoying toilet with the loose handle, and the stupid cheap TV that didn't even friggin' work… she was going to have to spend the rest of the night, the whole next Christmas day, alone, with not even the option of taking some guy back with her for company. What kind of guy would be out on Christmas Eve or Christmas day and ready to jump in bed with a stranger?

Faith's mouth tipped sardonically; the answer was pretty obvious. Any guy who was in a bar. So she had that option if it came down to it. But she wasn't so sure that she wanted that after all this… to lug back all the gifts she'd been given and to have them sitting right there, stark reminders, as she fucked some drunk loser from the bar… it depressed and angered her even to think about it.

She found herself dawdling, hanging back, apart from everyone, as they left. In a way she was subconsciously trying to escape their notice, as if by being quiet and keeping apart from them they might forget that she was there. Right… like the Summers women wouldn't notice if she started sleeping on their couch or something.

Faith didn't really know what she was thinking that her hanging around a few extra minutes mattered; she knew she really ought to just go on, just make herself leave 

before it was obvious to everyone else how unwilling she was to go back to her "home". And yet she continued to do so…

Too soon even Xander and Willow were leaving, neither who seemed too eager to return home themselves, to their families. From what Faith had gathered, neither exactly had Mike and Carol Brady for parents. Even knowing this, she couldn't help but feel a sharp swelling of envy in her chest… for they at least would not be alone.

And then Xander and Willow were gone too, and Faith was the last one left… her stomach knotted, and she found herself tensing, knowing what was coming. She had to leave… but dammit, she didn't want to go.

"Well… guess I'll head out too," she muttered to Joyce, who she had been standing across the room from in the kitchen. She turned with jerky, forced movements to walk into the living room, starting to make herself leave as quickly and inconspicuously as possible. "Thanks for having me over and everything…"

Faith started to pick up her gifts as hurriedly as she could, but both Joyce and Buffy were looking at her now, seeming surprised, even dismayed.

"Faith, honey, why don't you stay with us tonight?" Joyce asked her, her tone of voice showing her concern. "We'd love to have you."

Faith paused in her movements, her expression freezing briefly as she digested Joyce's words. She'd just asked her to stay… Mrs. Summers had just put voice to what Faith had been wishing for fervently for the past two hours. She'd asked her to spend the night… for at least tonight, and a good bit of tomorrow- for the entire Christmas holiday. Faith would not only not have to be alone in that motel room… she would be with Buffy.

Her first impulse was to jump at the chance, to quickly agree before Joyce changed her mind or Buffy spoke up to protest. But after those first few eager, incredulous moments, the cool, pessimistically realistic thoughts kicked in, and Faith knew she couldn't say yes. For one thing, there was her pride. She didn't want to make 

herself any more of a charity case then she'd already been today. It was bad enough that Faith had already accepted their gifts for her, considering the terrible ones she'd given them in return. No way could she make herself look even more pitiful by staying with them like a foster kid or street orphan or something.

She didn't want to put them out or make them feel obligated or guilted into anything. Besides, she had seen the pile of presents under the tree… the huge majority no doubt bearing Buffy's name. It would be way awkward for all of them tomorrow morning… for Faith to be there, the entirely gift-less outsider, just watching like a kid outside a candy store window or something. Nope, no way was she signing up for that.

And besides- and this, ultimately, was what cinched it for her- it hadn't been Buffy who asked her to stay, but rather her mother. Her _mother_… Buffy wouldn't say it out loud, Faith knew, but she probably wanted her to leave so she could start in on whatever normal-family, normal-daughter Christmas traditions she might do. There was no way Buffy would want her to stay… and so there was no way Faith could.

Faith shook her head quickly, faking a casual smile. "Nah, that's okay, Mrs. S, I think I'll just go home… merry Christmas and all."

"Well, at least let me drive you," Joyce persisted, still regarding Faith with a motherly concern that made Faith's stomach twist even more painfully; Faith couldn't meet her eyes. "You have all your gifts to carry, and I hate to think of you walking back alone when it's so late-"

"No, no, it's okay, Mrs. S, I'm good," Faith cut her off quickly, almost panicking when she heard her voice falter slightly. What the hell was wrong with her?! She covered hurriedly, making her voice more assertive, assured. "I'm one of the slayers, remember? It's five by five."

"Well, if you're sure, Faith- but we'd be glad to have you stay with us, honey. Wouldn't we, Buffy?" Joyce asked, turning towards her daughter, who had rejoined them a few minutes ago. Buffy nodded, echoing her mother's words.

"Yeah, of course. Of course we want you to stay, Faith."

Faith hesitated, her former resolve wavering… for it was a whole different matter, now that Buffy had asked her.

But then, of course she had she'd had no choice, the way her mom had put her on the spot like that. Buffy was just being polite… it wasn't that she actually _wanted _Faith to stay. So of course, there was no way she could say yes.

"Nah, thanks and all, but I gotta get goin'," Faith said quickly.

She turned towards the door abruptly, knowing that the Summers women were watching her, and feeling her throat constrict once again with bitterness and suppressed depression. She didn't even want to imagine what they must be thinking about her.

"Okay, well, are you sure you won't at least let me drive you?" Joyce asked doubtfully, and Faith glanced back at first her, then Buffy quickly, throwing off another insincere smile.

"Nah, like I said, I'm five by five, Mrs. S."

"At least let me get you a bag to carry your gifts in-"

"No, look, I'm _fine_, Mrs. S!" Faith cut her off, her tone louder and more aggressive than she had intended. Wanting to hit herself, feeling her neck burn, she couldn't bring herself to meet either Summers woman's eyes. No doubt they were hurt, confused…

"Well, if you're sure, Faith…" Joyce said slowly, giving Faith a clearly uncomfortable smile, "then have a good night. Merry Christmas, sweetie. And if you feel like coming by tomorrow, you're more than welcome to."

She came towards her, giving Faith a hug, then a kiss on the cheek, in such a warm and motherly fashion that Faith almost choked. She swallowed several times, needing to clear her throat but afraid to do so where they would hear. Even as she felt a frantic urge to push Joyce away from her, she simultaneously wanted to stay in her embrace for just a moments longer; anything to prolong her stay, to prolong the feeling of belonging she'd had for this evening.

She could feel Buffy watching as she finally extracted herself a bit suddenly from Joyce; the other Slayer's eyes were narrowed, her expression unreadable to Faith. What was she thinking? But it didn't matter- none of it mattered. Faith was leaving, so it didn't matter either way.

Faith threw a quick, insincere smile in Buffy's direction as she opened the door.

"Night, B. Guess I'll see you December 26 or something, unless you're busy or-"

"Faith, wait a minute," Buffy interrupted, her voice quiet but firm. "Can I talk to you a minute?"

Faith's brow furrowed slightly as she looked back at Buffy, wary, confused. What was this all about? Something demon-related? But then why hadn't she mentioned it during the party? Why hadn't anyone else? Maybe Buffy was mad at her- maybe she thought she was being rude to Joyce. Maybe…

Faith didn't know. She met Buffy's eyes quickly, giving her another meant-to-be-casual smile.

"Yeah, sure, B, whatever."

"Let's go outside, okay?" Buffy pressed, her eyes flickering in her mother's direction with clear implications. Obviously this was supposed to be a private talk. Seeming to get the message, Joyce backed off into the kitchen.

Still puzzled, Faith shrugged. "Yeah, whatever, B." She started to go through the door, but Buffy stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Set your things down for a little while, Faith. Just come talk with me, okay?"

Now thoroughly lost, Faith looked at the blonde with a little frown. Why did she need to leave her stuff? Just how long was this 'talk' going to be for? She needed to leave… the longer she dragged it out, the longer she was with Buffy, the harder it would be for her to go.

"Okay…" she muttered. She set her things by the door, following Buffy out on the porch. To her surprise and slight unease, Buffy had not released her hold on her arm. Not exactly hating that, and yet wondering at it, a little discomfited, Faith glanced from Buffy's hand on her arm to her face, still frowning.

"So, what's this all about, B?" she said, trying to sound unconcerned.

To be continued


	13. Story 13: Season's greetings pt 4

Disclaimer and story notes in first part of this story

Story 8: Season's Greetings pt 4

Buffy looked her straight in the eyes, still holding onto her arm. Her voice was quiet when she replied, but direct, sincere…

"Faith… stay here tonight. Please. You're not putting us out or ruining anything for us by staying. You'd be making us more uncomfortable going back then by staying, trust me. I hate to think of you sitting there alone on Christmas."

Ohhhh… so _that_ was it. Buffy felt guilty… and this talk was the obligatory final sales pitch for Faith to stay. Well, Faith would make it easy for her and just say no straight away. No guilt for Buffy, plus no having to pretend she really did want an outsider there with her and her mom on Christmas… she'd let Buffy really come out on top.

"B, it's five by five," she said quickly, making her voice impatient, even annoyed. "You don't have to feel guilty or anything. I don't mind or nothin'. Hell, I _like_ being alone a lot. Gives me space to think and all, spread myself around."

"Faith, come on, I'm not falling for it," Buffy countered quietly, looking her so steadily in the eye that Faith shifted, wanting to drop her gaze. "No one wants to be alone on Christmas, and I know you don't either. You're alone too, much as it is."

"That's where you're wrong, B, I'm fine," Faith countered quickly, her voice rising slightly. "Five by five. And I've really gotta go, so-"

She started to walk away, but Buffy's hand on her arm tightened; she could feel the blonde's eyes intensely fixed on her.

"Faith, don't do this- don't try to bullshit the both of us, we both know the real deal. You've been opening up to me- to all of us- little by little all night… don't shut down on me now."

Buffy lowered her voice slightly, sliding her hand from Faith's arm down to her wrist before gently but firmly taking her hand. Faith let her, startled and a little alarmed, allowing Buffy to squeeze her limp fingers in hers. What was she _doing_?

Buffy used her free hand to grasp Faith by the shoulder, turning her to face her more fully. Still holding her hand and shoulder, she continued in a more gentle tone.

"I know you want to stay the night with us, Faith, and that's okay. It really is. It doesn't make you stupid or selfish or weak… it makes you human. Don't you think just about anyone else would rather stay with people they care about and who care about them on Christmas Eve rather than go home alone? I know you like to prove to yourself and everyone else how strong and tough you are, and you _are_, Faith, we all know that. But it's not weak to need people, Faith… or even to love them."

Faith stared at Buffy, blinking… somehow she could not seem to comprehend the other girl's words, could not seem to make enough sense of them to relate them to what was going on. Was Buffy really saying what she thought she had… why, how…

"B, what does that have to do with anything?" she blurted, her voice more aggressive and impatient than she had meant for it to sound. Finally she backed away from Buffy, shaking her hands off of her- but Buffy grabbed her hand again, holding it tightly.

"Faith, listen to me," Buffy said, her voice quiet, but very serious, very intense. "I'm not asking you to stay because I feel sorry for you, or guilty. I don't feel like this is something I _have_ to do, or _should_ do. This is something I _want_ to do. We _want_ you to stay, Faith…_ I_ want you to."

She tried to meet Faith's eyes, still squeezing her hand… but Faith could not look at her could not bring herself to neither speak, nor to move away. Her heart was beating with rapid jerky pulses, reminding of a washing machine cycling out of control… her stomach was twisting and squeezing more painfully than ever, and she swallowed, blinking several times. Her mouth and throat were suddenly very dry, even as her eyes seemed to be barely holding back far too much moisture. Moisture that was _not_ tears, she told herself fiercely. There was no fucking way she was going to cry.

Faith still could not understand what she had just heard, what Buffy had just said… for hearing the other slayer's tone, seeing the sincerity in her tone, feeling it in the way Buffy now gripped her hand in hers, she knew that Buffy had meant it. A tangle of thoughts and emotions ran through her mind, temporarily paralyzing her…

How could Buffy possibly mean what she was saying? How could she really want her to stay… _why_ would she?

Would she- could she? What if this was all a lie, if it really was Buffy's guilt talking after all- or worse, her wish to appease her mother?

But… what if it wasn't? What if Buffy's seeming sincerity was, in fact, genuine? What was Faith supposed to do then?

She knew how to leave… her problem was, she had never learned how to stay.

Faith's instincts were warring against each other, equally strong urges to continue to stick with her original plan to bail, to deny everything Buffy somehow knew she was thinking and feeling… or to take a leap of faith, no pun intended, and to trust Buffy's word. Pride was up against need… both were intense, but eventually, need won out.

"All right, B," Faith said slowly, exhaling. She lifted her eyes to meet Buffy's and she smiled at her quickly. "Since you're not really leavin' me much choice here, guess my answer is 'okay,' right?"

Buffy smiled back at her warmly, squeezing her hand. "Yep."

"You're not too used to not gettin' your way with stuff, are you?" Faith muttered, using sarcasm to consciously attempt to get them back on a track they were used to… a track that would feel safer to her.

Buffy's smile widened. "Nope… I'm not."

"Well… whatever then, B, you've got it. I'm couch-girl tonight," Faith said casually- and it was more of an effort than she would have imagined to conceal the relief, almost draining in its strength, that was sweeping over her.

She started to walk towards Buffy's front door, as much to hide her face long enough to make sure it was composed as anything else. But Buffy didn't release Faith's hand, causing her to be forced to a stop. When Faith turned back, slightly startled, Buffy looked back at her with a bit of a puzzled frown puckering her brow.

"Faith… why would you want to sleep on the couch?"

Now it was Faith's turn to frown with confusion, shrugging.

"Well you don't have a guest room, and there's no way in hell I'm letting _you_ sleep on the couch, so…"

Buffy continued to look at her, shaking her head slowly. Her face broke into a rueful, disbelieving grin.

"Faith, don't be silly… you're not sleeping on the couch! There's plenty of room for two in my bed…"

Buffy squeezed her hand, causing Faith's heart to squeeze in an identical manner a split second later. Was it Faith's imagination, or had there been a strange gleam in Buffy's eye when she said that… had she said it in the suggestive way it had sounded to Faith's ears? And if not... why was she still holding Faith's hand, lightly stroking the inside of Faith's wrist with her thumb?

No… she definitely couldn't go there. She definitely wasn't about to push her luck with that. It was enough that Buffy had asked her to stay, even to sleep in her bed with her- if she even dared to hope that the other girl might want something more…

Well, Faith just wasn't going to, that was all. Better to make light of such thought right away, reject it immediately and publically. Better to put it out in the open right away, in such a manner that it was clear she didn't believe it… and when Buffy reacted as well as if it were a joke, she could put her mind to rest, knowing it would never happen.

Having thus counseled herself, Faith grinned up at Buffy with raised eyebrows.

"Ooh, really, B? Plenty of room for two, huh?" she said, her heavy emphasis obviously insinuating sexual themes. Instead of wrinkling her nose or elbowing her, as Faith had expected, however, Buffy's smile widened, and she squeezed Faith's fingers again.

"Well, we could fit three if we really tried… or would that be too much for you to handle, Faith?"

At that, Faith's eyes widened, her eyebrows shooting up as she goggled at Buffy. Had the blonde really just said that?! Where was the blushing Miss Prim Faith had grown accustomed to?

"Oh, don't worry, Faithy," Buffy continued with the same mock seriousness as her smile broadened even further, her hazel eyes sparkling as she squeezed Faith's hand again, taking Faith's free hand as well with the other hand as she looked, clearly amused by herself, into Faith's eyes. "You're the only one that I want."

Her words were obviously flippant… and yet Faith thought for a split second that she had seen something more serious flicker across her expression.

Wrong… wrong, wrong, wrong! She was wrong, that was all there was to it.

"Ooh, B, I knew you were a romantic and all, but askin' for some summer lovin' in December… horny much?" Faith leered.

When Buffy just blinked at her, bewildered, Faith backtracked a little, trying to explain. There was no point in clever innuendos if no one understood them, after all.

"Summer lovin'… from _Grease_. You said 'you're the one that I want…' so I made a crack… like the song… oh, never mind, B, you're making me descend into Willow babble territory," she muttered, giving up. Even as she shook her head, she could practically feel Buffy's amusement, how the other slayer seemed to be radiating off affection and warmth… towards _her_.

"Summer loving, huh? Better watch your mouth, Faithy… we _are_ standing right under a nice array of mistletoe," Buffy told her with exaggerated sweetness.

"Huh?"

Faith's glance shot up above the door entrance quickly, and she realized that Buffy was right. The whole time they'd been standing directly under a cluster of 

mistletoe… and here Buffy was holding her hands, not even bothering to try to suppress her wide grin.

"Oh damn," Faith mumbled, flushing, and she began to back hurriedly from the doorway, attempting to withdraw her hands from Buffy's.

But Buffy would not let her pull away. As Faith frowned, looking from her to her hands to the mistletoe in confusion, Buffy's smile faded, and she looked into Faith's eyes with nothing but seriousness.

"No, Faith," she said quietly, "stay. I want you to stay."

Faith stared at her as her stomach dropped, her heart once again kicking into enthusiastic overdrive in her chest. She swallowed, her mouth and throat dry, scratchy. A coldness swept over her, a chill so strong she felt herself shudder despite the warm night air.

What… it couldn't be, she couldn't have… Buffy…

But Buffy was leaning towards her, her hands still holding Faith's, keeping her anchored near her… and then her hands were letting go, one going to Faith's waist, the other reaching to cup her face as she leaned in and kissed her.

Faith froze… nothing was real, it was all a dream, a stupid desperate fantasy she was deluding herself into believing. Any moment now she would wake up and be alone again. Any moment…

But she closed her eyes, then opened them, and Buffy was still there, still moving her lips against Faith's with gentle yet firm insistence… she could smell her, feel her hand stroking her face, her thin arm tightening around her waist. This was really happening. It was really real…

Buffy pulled away briefly, looking into Faith's shellshocked eyes as she kept her hand on Faith's cheek.

"Stay, baby," she whispered, her voice heavy with the hushed intensity of her emotion. "Stay…"

And then she was kissing Faith, and Faith was kissing her back in a daze… and all she could think of was that the joy of the Christmas season, the joy she had once thought was like Santa Claus, a cutesy legend… that joy was no myth, because she was currently feeling it.


	14. Story 14: A whole new fear

Disclaimer in first part

Author notes: So I think both girls are kinda out of character in this… what do you think?

Story 9: Whole new fear

It was a beautiful day; the sky was bright and clear, almost cloudless, and the weather was warm without being overly hot. Below the carnival Ferris wheel, people bustled about from ride to ride, food stand to food stand, game to game excitedly. The noise of the crowd was loud and enthusiastic, a background that would normally pump Faith up- that _had_ pumped her up earlier. But as she sat pressed up against Buffy in the small Ferris wheel cart, her face was nothing but apprehension and unease. She was gripping Buffy's arm in a hold that would have caused great pain to most girls- girls who were not slayers.

"I don't freakin' understand why the hell anyone would want to go on these things," Faith muttered, tightening her lips into a thin, strained line after she spoke. "Tell me again why this is supposed to be fun, B?"

Buffy shook her head incredulously, laughing in disbelief as she looked at the tense slayer beside her.

"_You_ don't understand? You've got to be kidding me, Faith. I can hardly believe the words that have been coming out of your mouth the past few minutes. I mean, come on, Faith. You're telling me that you- the girl who just ran into me and every other car that came within ten feet of you in bumper cars hard enough to give us whiplash, ate a candy apple, cotton candy, two hot dogs, and cheese fries, and then proceeded to ride- and force me to ride- five different roller coasters, spinny-upside-down-things, _and_ the apple barrel- all the while laughing like a maniac- the girl who just did all that with no problem is scared by a slow-moving, non-dangerous Ferris wheel?!"

Faith stiffened at that, glaring defiantly. "I'm not scared!" she shot back. "I'm not scared, this is just a stupid ride, is all."

"Oh, you're not scared?" Buffy chuckled wryly. "That's funny, because that look of fright on your face begs to differ. Especially when coupled with your white-knuckled grip on my arm."

Faith glanced down at her hands, as if she'd only just realized where they were. Buffy didn't see how that could possibly be true. Their slayer connection made it apparent whenever the other slayer was even nearby; when they touched, the connection and the sensation it caused in their bodies was strong enough to be nearly tangible.

"Maybe I just like to touch you, B," Faith replied with a hint of her usual smirk. She ran one hand up and down Buffy's arm suggestively, but rather than making Buffy uncomfortable, as Faith had probably hoped, she just laughed. She'd seen how hard it had been for Faith to pry away her tightly gripped hand, to relax it enough to pet her arm.

"Whatever, Faith," she smiled. Her expression growing a little more serious, she said with some curiosity, "I really don't get it though. How could you ride all those fast rides that make my stomach drop, but be scared while riding a Ferris wheel?"

"I'm not scared, B!" Faith snapped, giving Buffy another fierce glare. "You say that one more time and I'm tossin' your new fuzzy little pal overboard, you hear?"

She gestured meaningfully at the stuffed rabbit she had won for Buffy in one of the rigged carnival games. Well, generally they were rigged, for normal people- Faith, with her slayer strength, that knocked down all the milk bottles with no problem, even shattering most of them. The man running the booth had stared at her with something akin to amazement, shock, and a twitchy nervousness on his face as he quickly handed Faith her rabbit; this had only upped her satisfaction.

Buffy grinned, burying the little rabbit she had already named Flopsy more securely under the arm not next to Faith.

"That would involve removing both hands from their iron grip on my arm, wouldn't it?" she said innocently.

When Faith's glare deepened, her eyes shooting sparks that nevertheless failed to cover up her hurt, Buffy once more grew more serious, almost apologetic. She put an arm around her shoulders, giving her a little half-hug as she smiled at her reassuringly.

"I'm sorry, Faith, I'm not meaning to make fun of you. It's just that I really don't get it. Why is a Ferris wheel worse to you than a roller coaster going 100 mph?" she asked. There, she'd phrased it better that time- not a word in there about Faith being scared.

Faith eyed her warily, seeming to be deciding whether she could trust her words. Finally she sighed, seeming to want to sound impatient, exasperated, but really sounding more nervous than anything else.

"Look, B, it's really slow, okay?" she muttered, carefully looking away from Buffy's eyes. "Torturously slow. And it stops ever two minutes- always at the top, with my luck. And then you have to look down from that huge height while it just swings up there in mid-air… it's different with a roller coaster, you go fast enough that you don't seen anything really, it's over before you know it. With a Ferris wheel you see every freakin' things cos it's so freakin slow."

Buffy noticed that although Faith wasn't looking at her, she also wasn't looking down; her eyes were very carefully fixed straight ahead, looking past her rather than at her or below her.

"There isn't even a stupid seatbelt on this thing," Faith muttered resentfully, "just a stupid bar that's nowhere near us. We could slip out of this thing way too easily."

Buffy shook her head in amusement, hardly able to believe that this was Faith talking. Who would ever know? It made about as much sense to her for Faith, a vampire slayer, to be afraid of Ferris wheels as it did for Anya, an ex-vengeance demon, to be afraid of bunnies. Speaking of which, she better keep her new little toy away from her…

To Buffy's great amusement, Faith's biter predicament proved to be true… for just as they were slowly coming around the circular path, up to the very top of the apex, the ride came to an abrupt stop. Faith's dark brown eyes widened, and she moved in even closer against Buffy, her hip and shoulder smushing tight against her as she dug her fingers even harder into Buffy's skin.

"Oh shit," she mumbled, her voice shaking slightly in spite of her ferocious tone, her eyes rigidly fixed straight ahead. "I knew it, I _knew_ it. The damn thing _always_ does that to me, this is two out of two times now! What is this, are the Ferris wheel gods hating me or somethin'?"

Buffy couldn't help but grin; though she didn't say a word, Faith glowered at her.

"I hate the way it rocks," she said resentfully. "Like it's gonna do a 360 if we're not careful."

"When you say rock," Buffy said with exaggerated innocence, unable to resist, "do you mean rock, like this?"

She began to sway back and forth quickly in jerky little movements, causing the whole cart to swing back and forth in exactly the manner Faith had described. Faith gasped out loud, her eyes almost bulging in alarm, and dug her fingers into Buffy even harder, adding fingernails as well this time.

"Stop it! God, B, what the hell is wrong with you?! Fuck!"

"All right, I'm sorry, don't freak on me, Faithy," Buffy laughed; for some reason, she found Faith's infuriated glare, coupled with the not-entirely-disappeared panic in her eyes and her iron grip on her not only very funny, but also adorable.

Faith and adorable… didn't seem to go together… or had she just never seen it before? Right- the more likely option was that a day off from vamps and demons was making Buffy go giddy with joy that she just loved everyone in sight. Not such a bad thing, for a brief period anyway. If it kept going on, that might become a problem…

"Bitch," Faith muttered resentfully, and Buffy realized that she was still cutting her eyes toward her with anger. And yet, rather than punching her, as Buffy would have expected, Faith did not release her slayer grip on Buffy's arm, nor did she scoot away from her. Of course, that could have been because Faith was afraid to make the seat move around any more.

As Buffy looked over at her more seriously, her grin toning down a little, she realized that there was more than just anger in the younger girl's eyes… there was hurt as well. Faith's shoulders and facial muscles were stiff, and she wasn't looking directly at her, but her jaw was clinched, something about the way she held herself seeming to be embarrassed, even ashamed.

I really did hurt her feelings, Buffy realized with some shock. Damn…I was just messing with her, I didn't mean to hurt her.

"Hey," she said more quietly, touching Faith's shoulder with the hand further from her. "I mean it, Faith, I'm sorry."

"Whatever, B," Faith muttered, still barely glancing at her… but her hands remained clamped around Buffy's arm, her shoulders still squared, and she still avoided looking at her or down. As weird as Buffy found Faith's phobia in respect to all the 

rides she had no problem with, it was clear that the other slayer was serious about it- and sensitive too.

Watching her, Buffy felt worse. She knew Faith wasn't one to be willing to show fears or weakness- she probably was hating every second of this, humiliated. Why had she insisted on dragging her on here? And why couldn't she just have kept her mouth shut once they were on?

"Really, Faith, I _am_ sorry," she tried again.

When Faith didn't say anything, just continued to carefully avert her eyes from both the ground and Buffy, Buffy sighed, trying a different approach.

"Faith… you can close your eyes if you want, if that will make you feel better."

Faith glanced over at her quickly, her eyes glinting suspiciously. "Why, so you can rock it some more and hear me scream? So you can do something to make me look stupid? No thanks, B."

"No- no!" Buffy replied, her tone startled and a little hurt. "No, I won't, Faith, I promise. I just… look, I'm sorry for making fun of you, and just… if you're really scared- I mean, if you don't like this," she amended quickly, seeing Faith's eyes narrow and her mouth open defensively at the word 'scared'- "if you don't like this, then you don't have to look. I'll tell you when it's over, and I won't lie, okay? And I won't make fun of you anymore, Faith, I promise."

Of course, Faith had made fun of Buffy when Buffy had dreaded before and screamed during all the rides Faith had dragged _her_ on… but somehow this seemed different. Though Buffy had pouted and shot back a few remarks when Faith needled her, she hadn't minded what Faith had said; she'd even enjoyed it somewhat. For Faith, at least with this matter, it was different. She obviously didn't see what Buffy said as a joking matter.

Faith continued to look at her warily, her lips thinning as she searched Buffy's face, determining the sincerity of her offer. Finally she exhaled with probably feigned exasperation and impatience.

"Whatever… you lie to me, B, or you tell anyone, and I toss you overboard, no matter how much it rocks the cart," she said darkly. "And then I kick your ass after I get off."

Buffy smiled. "Got yourself a deal."

Sighing again, Faith eyed her for a few more seconds, then slowly closed her eyes. She was still sitting upright, her body still tense, hands still holding Buffy's arm almost as if she had forgotten they were there. But she also seemed to be leaning in towards Buffy even more, leaning on her, without quite relaxing or putting her head up against her. It was a strange position- neither completely upright, nor completely lying down. It was as if she wanted to relax against Buffy but was holding herself back from doing so in a way that was physically uncomfortable for her. Almost as if she were testing out Buffy's reaction…

Looking over at her, Buffy felt her heart stir oddly. Somehow, watching Faith both amused and touched her in a way that seemed at odds with each other and yet strangely fit her in a way she'd never thought of. She had an urge to tell Faith that she could lean against her a little more, that she didn't have to hold herself so strangely. She wanted to tell Faith that she could lay her head on her shoulder, or even on her lap, that she was in no danger…

But she couldn't. For one thing, she knew exactly how defensively Faith would react to that… and for another, Buffy wasn't sure why she was even thinking it in the first place.

But then again, was it really such a shock? Hadn't she had similar, if not identical, thoughts before? Hadn't she looked at Faith dozens of times and felt the same slightly uncomfortable squeezing inside her she felt now, the same desire to…

To what? What exactly are you thinking, Buffy?

She couldn't say it, even in her thoughts. But even as she deliberately looked away, deliberately tried to focus her thoughts and attention on something else, she found her eyes drifting right back to resting on Faith. And that desire was not fading… if anything it was only growing stronger.

She'd felt it before, of course, but Buffy had always before been able to suppress it, to explain it away. But today was different… today it kept popping up in the most random places, just when Buffy thought it had left her.

_When Faith crashed into her in her bumper car, long dark hair flying back on the impact, strands falling over her face as her dimples popped out with her laughter. _

_When Faith was holding a candy apple in one hand and cotton candy in the other, taking a bite first of one, then the other, like a cartoon child. _

_When Faith grinned at her with mustard on her chin after eating her hot dogs. Watching Faith eat her hot dogs in a way that seemed to Buffy much more suggestive than she could have done it even while trying. _

_When Faith paced and fidgeted with excited impatience while waiting in line._

_When Faith handed her the stuffed rabbit she had won for her with a pleased smile, dark eyes shining._

_Right now, when Faith sat close to her with her eyes closed, trusting Buffy in a way she rarely had before…._

Each of those times, in each of those moments, Buffy had felt the same wistful yet fierce desire… a desire she knew she could not carry out. And yet she found herself wondering… what if…

"Okay, B, why aren't we moving?" Faith asked suddenly, momentarily interrupting Buffy's inner monologue. Her eyes were still closed, but the impatience and tension remained in her tone. "What's wrong? It's been five minutes… is it broken? Why has this thing stayed stopped so long?"

Buffy started to say that she didn't know, to reassure Faith that they were fine… she started to say what Faith expected her to say, what she expected _herself_ to say. But when she spoke, she didn't say what she'd been planning to say planning to say at all.

"It's okay, Faith… just keep your eyes closed. I'll help take your mind off your fear…."

At that, as Buffy could have predicted, Faith's eyes snapped open, and she glowered at Buffy with a mix of indignation, suspicion, and defiance. "What?! What is that supposed to mean?! And I told you, B, I'm not afraid-"

She no doubt had planned on saying a lot more than that… but Buffy interrupted her. Taking hold of Faith's chin with her free hand, Buffy turned her face towards her, cutting off the other girl's words with a kiss.

She couldn't see this, but she knew that Faith's eyes must be growing huge… the other girl seemed paralyzed with shock, stiff and frozen beside her. Buffy could hear Faith's heart galloping madly in her chest… and the younger girl was not kissing her back.

Oh no, what had she done? What the hell had she been thinking?!

Buffy started to pull away, started to apologize… but now suddenly Faith's hands were going up to cup her face, tentatively pulling her back as Faith slowly started to kiss her back.

Oh god, oh god, oh god was all Buffy could think as her every sense seemed to be on overload, every one of them full of the taste and feel and smell and sight and sound of the girl in her arms, the girl who seemed now to be almost inside her, her essence filling her as if they were merging into one…

She didn't notice when the Ferris wheel started to move again; neither, it seemed, had Faith. When they finally pulled their faces slightly apart, both were slightly out of breath, seeing nothing but the depths of the other's eyes.

"F-Faith?" Buffy said finally, her voice oddly hushed. "Did that… did that help?"

She didn't know why she was saying it; it had, like before, slipped out on impulse. But Faith regarded her seriously, not a hint of a smile on her face.

"Are you kidding, B?" she said quietly. "You just hit on a whole new fear."

Her words were meant to be facetious… but Buffy understood as she looked into Faith's eyes that there was more than a little truth to them. A truth she had related to, gave in to… until now.

"Well, Faith," she said slowly in the same measured quiet tone, "I guess we better help you face it."

She leaned in towards her slowly, wordlessly giving Faith time to accept or reject her advances. Faith hesitated, her eyes troubled, afraid… and then she closed her eyes.

"Guess we better…" she breathed, as Buffy's lip once more descended upon hers.


	15. Story 15: Warm desires

Disclaimer in first part

Story 10: Warm desires

"Come on, B, hurry up!" Faith shouted, glancing over her shoulder at her fellow slayer as she ran. "Where the hell is all that slayer speed?"

"The stupid-freaking-heel of my stupid-freaking-shoe broke off! That stupid demon…" Buffy called back as she stumbled, the torrent of rain pouring down on them making her hard to see, let alone to hear.

"How much further, Faith? Are you sure it's closer than my house? Because it doesn't seem-"

"We're almost there, B!" Faith hollered back. "If you weren't so slow-"

Not finishing her sentence, she strode back quickly to where Buffy was, grabbing her free hand with the hand not holding her stake. Both girls felt their slayer connection charge up abruptly, so energizing and warm that for a moment they were unaware of all else, even the cold, heavy rain falling down all around them.

Their slayer bond lent Buffy an extra spurt of speed even as she stumbled in her broken heel, clutching Faith's hand as Faith pulled her along. However, apparently even this was not fast enough for the impatient Faith, for she turned to Buffy suddenly. Without saying a word of warning, she picked her up, holding her in her arms as effortlessly as though Buffy were a small child as she ran.

Buffy's eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to speak, then closed it, saying nothing. Instead she adjusted herself slightly in Faith's arms, wrapping an arm around the younger slayer's neck and pressing herself tighter against her. She told herself quickly that she was just making it more comfortable for Faith to carry her, 

as well as trying to soak up some warmth from her in the cold rain… but Buffy couldn't deny the roils of pleasure rippling through her with delight at being so close to Faith, feeling her strong arms around her.

Slayer bond… it must be the slayer bond…

"See, it's right there," Faith called, her lips very close to Buffy's ear, causing a shiver to roll down her spine. "I told you it would be faster if I carried you, B!"

Actually she hadn't said anything, but Buffy wasn't about to argue. She hadn't been so grateful to see Faith's motel ever before…

Still holding Buffy in her arms, albeit a bit awkwardly now that she was actually using only one arm as she fumbled in her pocket for the key with the other one, Faith finally found it and threw open the door to her motel room. She hurried inside it, dropping both her keys and her stake to the floor as she stood there, dripping, catching her breath. Buffy relaxed against her, feeling the same adrenaline surge running through her that Faith did. She wasn't sure if it was even entirely hers, or if she and Faith were sharing it through their slayer bond, a sympathetic sensation. She could feel Faith's rapid heartbeat against her own body, seeming to be beating at the same tempo as her own.

She waited for several moments, but Faith just stood there, her sodden dark hair all over her face, her clothes dripping all over the stained carpet. She seemed to have no intention of moving.

"Um, Faith?" Buffy ventured. "Are you going to put me down?"

Faith seemed to startle, glancing down at her as if she had forgotten Buffy was there. Not very likely, Buffy thought with some confusion.

"Oh. Yeah, whatever, B."

She set Buffy down quickly, and Buffy took both her shoes off. She stretched, popping her back. She noticed Faith eyeing her with a strange expression and frowned, puzzled.

"What? I know, I know, I look like a drowned rat- but you know, you could offer me a towel or something," she said, diluting her mild scolding with a smile.

Faith returned her smile, hers more twisted, more like a leer.

"Actually B, I was thinking I kinda like the wet T-shirt contest look," she said slyly.

Buffy looked down quickly, realizing with a mix of surprise, dismay, and amusement what Faith was talking about. Her white blouse was quite transparent, her bra clearly visible through her soaked, clinging shirt. As she glanced back at Faith, crossing her arms and flushing, she realized that Faith, in her white tank top, had the same problem going for her. Buffy flushed even harder; yet somehow she couldn't bring herself to look away.

"Well it it's a competition, I definitely lose," she muttered.

Faith grinned, her dimples displaying themselves in a way that made Buffy's heart jump suddenly and strangely as the other girl laughed.

"Oh, don't worry, B, you're more than adequate. Different strokes for different folks…"

Was it Buffy's imagination, or had Faith said that with even more insinuation than usual?

Buffy shivered, making herself tear her eyes away from Faith's chest. Faith too seemed to be refocusing deliberately, as she moved her eyes up to Buffy's face, frowning slightly.

"Sorry B, you must be cold and all… I'll go get some towels."

She disappeared into her tiny bathroom, and Buffy found that her eyes were following her… or rather, Faith's backside. Okay… what was going on with that?

Her stomach growled, and she gave an inward sigh of relief; there was the answer to her question. She'd just slayed, that was all, and she was hungry; all this weirdness was just the horny side of the equation showing itself. It wasn't' that she really had the hots for Faith, of course- she was just horny.

However… somehow Buffy couldn't seem to make herself care that there was a difference… or even whether there was a difference at all.

Faith returned a few moments later with two thin, cheaply made towels, tossing one at Buffy as she came to stand beside her again, beginning to pat her face, arms, and upper chest dry before rubbing the towel over her tangled hair. Buffy began to echo her movements more slowly, her eyes frequently and none too unwillingly drifting in Faith's direction. Somehow, she found the sight of Faith drying herself off incredibly… sexy. Even with the other girl fully clothed, though admittedly skimpily so and in very see-through fashion thanks to the rain, it was all too easy for Buffy to imagine that this was not the case.

And why exactly are you imagining that, Buffy, huh?

Buffy jerked her eyes away again, all too aware of the silence between them. It wasn't exactly a heavy or uncomfortable silence exactly… but all the same it was there.

When she finally summoned the control to look over at Faith again, she noticed that the other slayer had stopped drying herself and was watching her, her dark eyes serious, and yet strangely alight with something Buffy couldn't place.

"What?" Buffy blurted before she could stop herself, and yet again she found her eyes moving to Faith's chest for a few seconds too long before she could make them jerk back up to her face.

"Nothin'," Faith replied, her words a bit slow in coming. "Uh, here, why don't you borrow some of my clothes, B? Since yours are all wet…"

She turned a bit abruptly to her small dresser, rooting around in it a little before pulling out a black tank top and some jeans, then a red tank top and a second pair of jeans as well. She held the first outfit out to Buffy a bit hesitantly.

"The jeans will probably be big on you, but the tank oughtta fit okay."

"Thanks, Faith," Buffy said quietly, taking the clothes from her. When their fingers touched, she felt a small sparking shoot all the way up her arm, settling in her stomach. From the strange look in Faith's eyes, Buffy knew she had felt it too.

She pulled away a little slower than necessary, and Faith watched her for a few minutes, a slight crease appearing in her forehead, before she began to strip off her wet clothing. Before Buffy could reconcile herself to the reality of what she was doing, the dark-haired girl was standing there in her bra and a skimpy black thong, casually tossing her damp clothes to the floor as she went to the dresser again to fish out another thong. As Buffy stood there in shock, still fully dressed and holding her borrowed clothing limply in her hands, Faith turned, seeming to suddenly realize what was flustering her companion.

"Oh, sorry, B… does this bother you? I could go change in the bathroom, or you could. I didn't think about it, I'm not all that modest, you know. We're both girls and all… and even if you weren't, it's not like _that's_ a big thing to me either," Faith said, rolling her eyes.

And yet it did seem to matter to her if Buffy were uncomfortable, what she was thinking about her… her formerly easy posture and nonchalant expression had been replaced with more self-consciousness, and she crossed her arms, looking at Buffy with some uncertainty.

It took Buffy a while before she could even make her eyes travel up from Faith's bare legs and stomach and nearly-bare chest and butt to her eyes… it was even longer before she could summon up a voice that wouldn't crack horribly.

"No… no it's okay… it-it isn't a big deal. Go ahead…."

She started to take off her own clothes, fumbling, her fingers suddenly very uncoordinated. It didn't help that Faith was watching her, frowning a little, as if she were confused or thinking very hard. Somehow Faith seemed far too close to her, her nearness interfering with Buffy's thoughts… and yet simultaneously Buffy felt an urge to draw her closer.

Even after she was dressed, Buffy was still cold, still shivering slightly every once in a while. As Faith had predicted, the jeans bagged on her, barely staying slung up on her narrow hips. Buffy still wore her own wet bra and panties. She suspected that that was not the full reason for her chill, however.

Even as uncomfortable as she was in only partly dry clothes, Buffy wasn't about to ask Faith if she could borrow her underwear or bra… nor was she about to take hers off in front of her. For one thing, she was fairly certain that no bra Faith might own would even come close to fitting Buffy; as she'd said before, there was no competition between them in that area. For another, just the fact that she was wearing Faith's shirt and pants, knowing that they had touched the other slayer's 

skin in the same spots they were now touching Buffy's, was enough to think about already…

Buffy shook her head suddenly and vigorously, trying to knock the persistent, intrusive thoughts sneaking into her mind out of her head. What was _with_ her lately- was she spending so much time with Faith that she was actually starting to turn into her? Or scarier yet, was she actually starting to surpass her in levels of perviness?

She shivered again, more violently this time, and Faith, fully dressed once more, turned towards her, frowning slightly.

"You still cold, B? Go get under my covers a while," she said, nodding towards her bed. "I don't care if you get it a little wet."

For a few seconds Buffy gawked at her, eyes widening in shock. That last sentence of Faith's… had she _really_ heard her say that?! Had Faith really meant what she was thinking she had?!

But when Faith's brow creased, and she looked confused, even a little hurt at Buffy's lack of reply and seeming horror, Buffy realized that she must not have.

Ohhhh… okay. She meant the bed… she doesn't mind if I get the _bed_ wet. Not _her_, not _Faith_… jeez, Buffy, what the hell is wrong with you tonight?

"Well, whatever, B, you don't have to," Faith said defensively, lifting her chin a little. "I just thought you might want to get warm since you're shakin' like a seizure girl or somethin'. There isn't cum stains all over the sheets if that's what you're thinkin' , they're clean."

_What? _Buffy's eyessnapped up to Faith's, going even wider in confusion and dismay. "No, no, I don't think- I didn't say that, Faith! I didn't- I just, I spaced out is all, I wasn't really listening. Yeah, I will, I don't mind- I'll do it, I'm doing it right now…"

Hearing and cringing at the almost frantic nature of her babbling, wanting to throttle herself, Buffy quickly turned away, going to pull back the covers and slip under them. Strange that Faith had made her bed… Buffy wouldn't have predicted that. But then again it was more likely that the person who'd changed her sheets or given her new ones had done it for her, right?

Buffy wiggled against the cheap, scratchy sheets, trying to find a spot to burrow into, to both create and soak up warmth in. She pulled the thin blanket up to her chin; it really wasn't that much warmer under the covers then out of them. How could Faith sleep like this every night and actually get decent rest?

She looked over at the other slayer and realized that Faith was standing there, glancing at her sort of awkwardly; when she caught Buffy looking, she quickly shifted her eyes.

"Hey, Faith?" Buffy said hesitantly. "You don't have to just stand there and look at me… you can get in bed with me too, you know."

And I so didn't mean that the way it sounded… perve thoughts, go away, Summers. Damn… I just don't want her standing there, feeling like she can't get in her own bed because I'm in it, that's all. Being cold and all.

Faith looked at her sort of oddly, her mouth twisted into something between uncertainty, amusement, and a sexual leer.

"Are you askin' me to come to bed with you, B?" she asked in her best 'let's-sound-sexy-to-make-Buffy-very-uncomfortable' tone.

It worked; Buffy blushed furiously, her eyes flickering away. But to no one's greater surprise than her own, her eyes slid back to Faith's a few moments later, meeting them firmly.

"Is that what it sounds like to you, Faith?"

"Yeah, actually…" Faith replied, seeming confused at this unexpected response. Her smile flickered slightly, and she shrugged, her demeanor and tone more normal, even hesitant. "Yeah, whatever, B, ask and you receive and all that."

She went around to the other side of the bed, pushing the cover back and sliding in next to Buffy as she too wiggled around, trying to get comfortable. They were not very far from each other physically, but neither were they very close. There was a careful spacing between them, an almost visible, symmetrical line neither were crossing but both were very aware of.

For several moments neither girl spoke; they just lay there in a silence that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, but just there. Buffy tried to empty her mind of her thoughts, hardly able to follow their scattered paths, but gave up eventually, letting them run as she listened absently to her own breathing, to Faith's beside her, and to the rain still pounding against the roof and window outside.

"It's probably gonna rain all night," she muttered finally. "Boy is that gonna be fun to go out into again…"

"Well, you don't have to, B," Faith said; her words and tone were casual, but when Buffy turned to look at her, her eyes were serious, carefully watching Buffy's reaction. "You could just stay here tonight if you wanted to."

Buffy didn't answer her right away; she was thinking, struggling in spite of herself. Could she do that… could she stay with Faith, share the same bed, even with all these weird thoughts she was having, these impulse control issues? Did she even want to?

Stupid question… of course she wanted to. The question was, could she deal with it?

"Okay," she said quietly, making up her mind. "Yeah, Faith, I'll stay."

"All right," Faith replied, her voice still carefully nonchalant, but it seemed to Buffy as well that there was surprise in it… even a sort of pleasure. Of course, she was probably reading too much into it.

It was quiet between them for a few more minutes as Buffy continued to shiver occasionally; her damp bra and underwear seemed to be clinging to her, keeping her from really warming up. Faith glanced over at her, her expression hard to decipher.

"You still cold, B?"

"Yeah," Buffy admitted, as another shudder rolled down her spine.

"Sorry," Faith said, seeming genuinely concerned, apologetic. "Heat's busted, the unit's a piece of shit."

And yet she sleeps here every night… Buffy thought again, feeling me shame than surprise this time. Why had she not thought about that before? Had she just not cared? She could have asked Faith to stay with her before, she could have slept with Buffy in her bed…

As a friend, of course, Buffy as a friend. Don't start going down Pervy Path again.

"Are-are you cold?" she asked Faith a little awkwardly, her words too sudden.

Faith hesitated before replying. "Just a little," she hedged reluctantly, as if to admit that she was would be to admit to some wrongdoing. Her subsequent sudden shiver immediately after she spoke seemed to underscore her words; noticing that, Buffy frowned.

"Faith…" she said slowly, convincing herself as much as Faith as she spoke, "we're both cold, right, even under the blanket? So… isn't it kinda silly for us to be so far away from each other? I mean… like, being closer and stuff… it, it would help us conserve body heat. Like, share it. You know… like through touching a little, it would make us warmer… you know what I mean, right? Don't you?" she asked with some anxiety.

Faith looked back at her with a slight frown, her eyes narrowing.

"Yeah… I guess…"

"So… so, don't you think we should move closer then?" Buffy fumbled, and she found that her heart was beginning to pound, her eyes unable to meet Faith's. This was silly… there was no reason for this… none. What she was suggesting was a matter of practicality. It was physics, not biology. This had nothing to do with anything she might be thinking or feeling or wanting… it definitely wasn't a step in the direction of the forbidden Perve Path. Nope. It wasn't.

Faith was still watching her with that confused, intense expression, as if she were trying to make up her mind, or else solve a puzzle. The puzzle of Buffy… but Buffy wasn't acting puzzling, was she? She seemed very clear and non-puzzling to herself. There was not puzzle. Just wanting to be warm, that was all.

"Yeah," Faith said finally, neutrally, "yeah, guess we should then."

"All right…" Buffy breathed. "And, and it's to get warm. To conserve heat. That's it. Just warming. Right?"

"Well… yeah, B," Faith said, still eyeing her with that little confused frown. "Right…"

Buffy took a deep breath, hoping it wasn't visible or audible to Faith and knowing that it probably was. She waited… but nothing was happening, no one was moving.

"Um… which of us is gonna move?" she ventured uncertainly.

After several moments of awkward stillness, Faith slowly rolled herself closer to Buffy, so that their shoulders were touching. For several more moments they just lay there in silence, barely touching, each girl made ridiculously aware of their own heartbeat, the feel of the other girl's cool shoulder pressed against her own. Buffy struggled with herself, trying to concentrate on anything else, anything… not working.

"Uh, Faith?" she said slowly. "I… I'm still cold."

She waited, almost holding her breath… and to her relief, a relief that was almost ridiculous with its near giddy intensity, Faith scooted in closer to her, slowly, tentatively putting her arms around her. Just as hesitantly, Buffy huddled in closer against Faith's body, laying her head against the other girl's shoulder. Faith's body was not warm, but it was not as cool as hers was; together, they seemed already to be generating much more heat than each had alone. Buffy didn't know if it was the physics or the slayer bond; whatever it was, it certainly involved chemistry…

Okay, bad thought, no! No detours down Perve Path, Buffy Summers!

But it was too late… she had not only stepped down that road, but become a well-established local citizen, possibly even the mayor.

She could feel the hot, tingly sparks shooting through her in every place that her body came in contact with Faith's… her heart rivaled Edgar Allan Poe's in its wild beats. And suddenly she could barely breathe, for Faith's scent seemed to have stopped up her nostrils. She was reluctant to open her mouth, for fear that she would taste her as well…

Okay, stop! Stop it right now!

"See," she said quickly, trying to distract herself as much as Faith, "it's warmer like this… isn't it?"

It was a few moments before Faith answered, her voice as tense and stiff as the muscles of her body. And was it Buffy's imagination, or were they suddenly holding each other tighter?

"Yeah…"

"And, and it doesn't mean anything. Nothing, nothing has changed… we're just keeping warm," Buffy babbled. "That's all…"

"Nope," Faith said quickly, "no, nothin', it's all good. It's…"

She never even finished her sentence… for suddenly they were kissing with a desperate, hungry passion that overwhelmed all words. Buffy didn't know which of them had started it, which had made the first move, but she didn't care. All she knew was that Faith's body was fully pressed against hers, moving and stroking, embracing, her heat flooding her… and as she felt Faith's hands creep under her 

borrowed shirt, unhooking her wet bra, it flashed across her mind that now absolutely nothing would keep her from being warm.


	16. Story 10: Showing through silence

Disclaimer in first part

Author notes: This chapter is rated M. If you do not like femslash and/or are not of age, please go elsewhere.

Story 11: Showing through silence

The two girls were breathing heavily, nearly panting as their bodies pressed against each other, rubbing, grinding against each other roughly. The dark-haired girl was on top of the smaller blonde girl beneath her, dominating, her taller, larger body seeming as if it should crush her with the nearly brutal force of her writhing. She kissed the blonde harshly, almost forcing her tongue into her mouth as she pressed her bare body against hers, her hands running rapidly and none-too-gently over the smaller girl's body.

She was sliding herself down to her crotch when the small blonde took hold of her right wrist in one hand with a strong grip; with the other she gently but firmly cupped the brunette's face, tipping it up to look her in the eye.

"Faith, wait," Buffy said softly but with gentle insistence, lightly squeezing her wrist. "Slow down, baby, be gentle… let's make this last…"

Faith's eyes narrowed, her brow furrowing as she looked at Buffy with what seemed confusion… she appeared to not have the slightest idea what Buffy was talking about. Buffy smiled at her warmly, stretching her neck to give Faith a soft, lingering kiss. Faith seemed to shrug inwardly, throwing off Buffy's request, and kissed her back roughly, forcing Buffy's lips open as she thrust her tongue inside her mouth. All the while her hands were roaming again, skidding rapidly and with a good bit of pressure applied down Buffy's breasts and sides, her buttocks and hips.

She was sliding down once more between Buffy's legs when Buffy stopped her again, this time holding her more firmly as she looked with some intensity into the younger woman's eyes.

"No, baby," she said softly, "that isn't the way it should be with us. We don't need to go so fast… we should slow it down, enjoy it more. Hasn't anyone ever taken their time with you, made sure you got the most pleasure possible out of it?"

When Faith just looked back at her, a poignant blankness about her eyes, a slight, puzzled frown turning her lips, Buffy blinked, stricken, as the realization dawned on her. Cleary, though Faith did not reply, the answer was no.

Could it really be that every one of Faith's sexual experiences had been like she was trying to make theirs- rushed, rough, and rapid? Had she really never had any kind of loving, satisfying sex act… had no one cared enough to want her to?

Buffy's heart squeezed painfully as she looked into Faith's face; for a moment she had to focus all her thoughts on forcing back the sudden tears pricking her eyes. She would just have to make sure that this time would be different for Faith…

"Okay, baby…" she said softly, taking a deep, steadying breath. "Let me show you… lay down, and let me take the lead."

For several moments, Faith continued to regard her, her dark eyes small, wary… and Buffy had seen the fear leap into her eyes as well. Maybe that was partly why Faith hurried things along… maybe she was afraid of what would happen if she surrendered control.

But slowly, hesitantly Faith was lying down… she was breathing somewhat unevenly, watching Buffy with a cautious not-quite-trust that twisted Buffy's heart. She knew she couldn't screw this up.

Taking hold of her shoulders, Buffy rolled Faith over onto her stomach gently. Faith let her do so without protest or question, but Buffy felt how stiff and tense her muscles were under her hands.

"Just relax," she whispered as she knelt beside her, lightly trailing one hand up her back, and feeling Faith's muscles ripple in response. "Relax, baby…"

She leaned forward, kissing the space between Faith's shoulder blades after moving her spill of dark hair to the side. She kissed her way down Faith's spine, all the way down to the small of her back, before leaning her cheek against her back briefly, rubbing it against her skin.

She could feel Faith tensing further, aroused, impatient, and the younger slayer tried to roll over. Buffy stilled her with gentle hands again, stroking back her hair.

"No, baby, trust me… let me do this, let me show you…"

She moved her hands back to Faith's shoulders, rubbing them with gentle strength, massaging them, then working her way down the rest of Faith's back. Faith was very still and quiet at first, still seeming confused, unsure… but eventually Buffy felt her muscles loosening, and she was breathing faster, every now and then a soft groan escaping her.

Buffy was breathing faster now too, savoring the feel of Faith's skin beneath her fingers, its soft smoothness and warmth… she lightly ran a finger down Faith's spine, grinning when Faith shivered mightily.

Gently she rolled Faith over onto her back again, beginning to caress her face and body in long, slow strokes, punctuating her petting with soft kisses against her face, neck, and collar bones. Faith seemed to be having a hard time breathing, her face wrinkling, alternating between excitement, pleasure, and an odd nearly anxious anticipation…

Buffy kissed her softly on the lips, parting Faith's slightly with her own. Seeming at last to be relieved, to know what to do, Faith kissed her back harshly, once more pushing her mouth hard, nearly violently against Buffy's. She began to arch her 

back, trying to grind against her once more… but Buffy pulled away, stroking Faith's hair back as she looked into her eyes, once more holding her chin in her hand.

"No, Faith," she repeated. "Slow… gentle. Let me…"

She kissed her again, hardly more than a brush, then more deeply, yet still softly, considerately, still holding her head and face as if she were something fragile and delicate. Faith was very still, her dark eyes wide as Buffy slowly, lovingly increased the passion of her kiss… all while not being forceful, not imposing any kind of dominating overtones. After a minute or so, Faith began to kiss her back with awkwardness, as if she found it very strange, yet very desirable, to do so in the way that Buffy was showing her.

Still kissing Faith, Buffy stroked her with long, caressing motions, starting with her head and face, then working her way down the rest of her body. Likewise, she began to follow her hands with mouth, kissing Faith's chin, throat, and the flat plane of her upper chest, working her way down.

Faith seemed to have forgotten what to do with her hands… she let them lay limply at her sides, seeming unable to return any of Buffy's caresses. Buffy could hear her rapid breathing, see her chest rising and falling as her heart hammered. Buffy's skin seemed to be singing, prickling with the intensity of their physical contact, of the heat of Faith's body against hers.

As Buffy stroked Faith's side, moving down between her legs, she whispered, "Just let me, Faith… let me…"

Faith lay with her limbs limp and loosely scattered, her hair spread out around her face and shoulders. Buffy could hear the strange, shuddery sound of her rapid breaths, almost pants, really, could feel her body shiver every few seconds. Buffy pressed her body up closer to Faith's, embracing her lovingly from the side as she pressed her head under Faith's chin. She relaxed against the slightly larger girl, 

feeling her quickened heartbeat slow as her muscles loosened. Buffy sighed, utterly content, sated..

She only hoped that what they had just done, what they had just shared, had meant to Faith what it meant to her, that she too was satisfied. She had never seen Faith open herself up in such a way to her, show so much of herself, risk herself in such a way… and yet the whole time, Faith hadn't said a word. Even now she was nearly silent, the only noise from her coming from her noisy respiration and heartbeat.

Buffy pulled herself apart from Faith a little, propping herself up on her elbows as she looked down at her with a slight frown. Faith was still shivering, and the way her face looked, even with her eyes tightly closed… Buffy's heart lurched with empathetic concern.

"Faith?"

It took her a few moments to realize that Faith was crying… her tears were almost soundless, the only noise her occasional hitching breaths. She kept her eyes closed, but the tears leaked under her lids regardlessly, and her shaking increased.

Buffy's first instinct was to question her, to show her concern through comforting words and questions designed to help her understand. She opened her mouth, prepared to do so… but then something about the way Faith looked changed her mind. This was not what she needed…

Instead, Buffy found herself lying down beside Faith again, and without speaking, she drew her into her arms. As Faith wept without sound, her hands knotted weakly and pressing into Buffy's chest, Buffy held her close. She asked for nothing, demanded no explanation; somehow she felt that this was not what either of them needed. Sometimes love and caring just couldn't- and shouldn't- be expressed in words…


	17. Story 17:On the bus again

Story 12: On the bus again

Dusk was falling rapidly; outside the crowded bus, the road stretched ahead in mostly isolated land. The interior of the vehicle was bathed in a weary quiet, even considering the number of its passengers- the near silence of the physically and emotionally drained. Many had drifted off into an uneasy sleep; the other sat speaking only occasionally, and then in soft whispers. It was as if to talk in normal tones would be to somehow violate and diminish the significance of the earlier events of the day…

Buffy sat in the back of the bus, her eyes heavily lidded, her head tilted back slightly against the seat as she leaned her shoulder into the window beside her. As tired as she was, she knew that sleeping was not an option for her. No way could she sleep today- not with all the thoughts currently running full-speed through her exhausted mind. She could only sit, and wearily let them run their course.

For the young woman seated beside her, however, that did not seem to be a problem. Faith's eyes were closed, her head lolling over at an odd angle on her neck, one that would probably give her a lot of stiffness and soreness later. Her face was not exactly relaxed, but her eyes were not moving beneath her lids. At least as of yet she was not having dreams, or nightmares.

Buffy watched her with complexity in her expression, seeing Faith's chest rise and fall slightly, hearing her slow, even breathing, and she did not know or understand her own thoughts. She had an urge to reach for Faith's head, to gently move it to a more comfortable position, but she restrained herself. She didn't know how she'd react if Faith woke up- or indeed, how Faith would react.

It wasn't that it would be so horrible, for Faith to catch her doing some little act of nicety like that towards her now. They were past that part of their lives now, past the resentment and begrudging, the anger and hatred and jealousy. For the first time since they had met five years ago, Buffy felt that she and her sister slayer were approaching a tentative understanding of each other… even a slowly developing trust. And considering their past, this was saying a lot.

But still, they were still just in the beginning stages of this, the first awkward phases, and Buffy didn't want to do anything to jinx it, to cause more awkwardness than was already there. So she stayed quiet, unmoving, as she watched Faith sleep beside her.

Faith had come up to Buffy about forty-five minutes into the drive, once Robin was stable. She had looked at her with a hesitant, almost vulnerable hope as she asked Buffy if she could sit with her… and looking at her, Buffy had been unable to say no.

They had talked with some awkwardness at first, more small talk and slightly forced bantering than anything else… and then gradually their words had died out, and they had drifted into a pensive silence together. Their lack of words was not uncomfortable, for neither felt as if they should be speaking; there was nothing they needed to say at that time, no need for words. Their silence did not alienate or isolated them from each other; rather, it seemed to bind them together in some inexplicable way, to increase their understanding of the other woman's feelings, even without her explaining them. Somehow, their sitting together in silence was working to begin the slow repairing, reconstructing of their bond in a way that words never would.

A few hours had passed since Faith came to sit by her; Faith, as had most of the others, had dozed off about 25 minutes ago. Regardless, Buffy somehow did not feel that she was alone; even just the physical presence of Faith near her made some tiny part of her feel just a little bit more comforted than she would have otherwise.

A few more minutes passed, and the bus drove over a speed bump, jarring its passengers slightly. Faith's sleeping form knocked gently against Buffy's side and stayed there; Faith did not stir as her body slumped against Buffy's, her dark head falling over heavily onto Buffy's shoulder.

Buffy looked down at her, startled, a slight alarm rising in her chest. This was much closer to Faith than she'd originally planned… closer to her than she'd been in years. Definitely this was crossing over into awkward territory. Definitely now was the time to wake Faith up, make her move away a little. They could trade places, Faith could lean against the window if she was so tired. At the very least Buffy could move Faith's head back into an upright position for her.

But as she glanced down at the younger slayer- the other half of the original Chosen Two- Buffy felt her instinct to move her fade, then disappear completely. Faith looked so tired, so comfortable... and maybe this was the next step, if she wanted to make things right. Maybe…

She sat there for several more moments, feeling the heaviness of Faith's head on her shoulder, the tickle of her hair on her skin, brushing her face, the warmth of Faith's skin against hers. She sat there, and slowly her muscles loosened, relaxed… and as she watched Faith's steady breathing, she began to match her own with it.

She could do this… _they _could do this. They could start over, become what they should have been in the first place. Nothing would stand in their way this time- if they didn't let it.

Slowly, cautiously Buffy leaned her head against Faith's, relaxing her body against the other slayer's… and breathing in near synchrony with her, she closed her eyes.

The end… or is it?

Author notes: I am pretty much done with this series for now… if any of you have any suggestions for further Buffy/Faith/Fuffy short stories, I'm all ears.


End file.
